Finding Jim Macinko

Not a good week

2011-09-14T07:09:00.002-09:00

Ok, so I need to vent. Right now I have a yeast infection and my period. A constant headache that I always get when I have my period. A mood swing like I've not had in months, even when Dad died. Right now I'm crying because I really miss him and because of my damn frackin' hormones. I'm rattled and frazzled and this is the first time since I got off the narcotics in June that I've wanted to be a zombie again on them.

My life is soooo much better off the narcotics, and I'm having less frequent and less painful headaches, blah blah blah, but right now I'm so crabby and feel so crappy that I woudln't mind being a zombie again on those damn pills.

I hate that feeling.

And today's my anniversary and I forgot. And he didn't. A card was waiting by my bedside when I got up. How could I forget that? What a heel I am.

Am I abnormal to be looking forward to menopause? These hormones are nothing but trouble, I swear. And I don't want any more babies anyway, because I now have the perfect child. And I was a bad mother today because when she got to school she was cold, so I obviously didn't dress her warmly enough.

As far as art goes, right now it's ppllllbbbbtttt!! No go, Houston, we are no go. I got nothin'. Since Dad died, I just haven't felt like it. I owe a mini zine for a swap on Swap-bot and I'm a month late now, at least.

I have felt like doing crafting, sewing, tho. I'm almost done with a quilt I'm making for a friend who's had a bitch of a time with a custody battle in an ugly divorce. She just got her house and her kid back, and the psycho bastard that was her husband took all the blankets, among other things (all the silverware?! Who does that?). So this is a sort of housewarming and heartwarming gift. And it's been very rewarding and healing for me to work on.

I started working on a new afghan after Dad died, and I'll probably go back to that soon, although now it's time to start making Christmas presents. Which does make me happy to think about. It's just this week, I have to get through it and I'll be much better.

Here's my crochet squares that I did while at my Mom's after Dad died. Aren't they happy? If you have a favorite crochet squares book, tell me, because I can't get enough of them.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I have a bodymind wellness group that I go to tonight, Thank God.

A Week Away

2011-07-23T05:55:00.000-09:00

It's getting better. And harder. I'm with my Mom now and will be here another week and a half or so. It's so good to be here with her, and be able to go in and out of talking about missing him. We talk, and it makes it more real and it's a little easier to accept. But it's still hard to believe.

He's been gone a week now, and I can't really pretend he's out the store anymore. I mean, that's what it felt like at first, like, "Where's Dad?" and the answer could be, "Oh, he's out in the garage," or "Oh, he's out at the store and will be back in a couple hours." It's getting harder for my unconscious to pretend that.

Not enough people have sent flowers, and that pisses us off. When I say us, I mean me and my younger sister. Dad was beloved by a lot of people, in the family and in this community. Some of them have stopped by and been very sweet, and I guess I have to focus on that.

One man I called started crying on the phone when I told him. It broke my heart, but it also warmed my heart to hear how much Dad had meant to this friend.

I guess I'm not in shock anymore, and it's starting to sink in that he's not coming back. I'm glad he's not in pain anymore.

Thanks to the peeps who left me comforting comments, I reallly appreciate it. People react weirdly to death. Someone who I thought I was close to didn't even call, but sent an impersonal card, which really hurt. But other people know just what you need and are very thoughtful, and I'm grateful for those people.

My Dad Died Today

2011-07-15T15:07:00.000-09:00

I can't even fathom it. He wasn't in great health, but this was sudden. He'd been admitted to the hospital yesterday and then last night he had some kind of heart attack that got him airlifted from Port Angeles, WA to Seattle. He had an irregular heartbeat on arrival. They performed CPR for 45 minutes and couldn't revive him.

And I'm 2000 miles away. I want to hug my Mom. I just can't fathom it.

Another Postcrossing Postcard

2011-05-21T10:40:00.000-09:00

I like it. So did the recipient. I think it might have even gotten favorited. Now there's a word I don't mind seeing transformed from a noun into a verb--favorite. But "friended" annoys me, and "unfriended" is just so brutal.

New Zines!

2011-04-30T12:39:00.000-09:00

Yes, I have TWO new zines! Firstly, there's my new migraine zine, a long time coming.

I've been working on it off and on for about 8 months. It's all about my fun having migraines! (I got the cover picture from an old kids' chemistry book) Whee! Actually, it sucks having migraines, and I was trying to do something constructive in creating this zine. It's more entertaining than you would expect, really! Several friends who get migraines have told me they really liked it. You can read more about it and buy it through my Etsy shop, or if you have a zine you'd like to trade, email me directly.

My other zine is a mini-zine that I just created in the last couple of weeks for a Swap-bot swap. I thought it turned out great, so I'm making more and selling it. Here's a picture of it in process:

This was my work area Easter night, after everyone else had gone to bed. You can see the collage I started with, and my mock-up next to it. And all my fun supplies. No PEZ was used in the making of this zine, sorry. My daughter just happened to leave those there when she went to bed (she got a bunny PEZ in her Easter basket, and then she went and found the Santa PEZ from Christmas so they could be friends).

This is my first mini-zine. I have been meaning to try one for a long time, and then I got a sheet with instructions on how to make a one-sheet zine as part of a trade at Artfest, and I immediately started fiddling with paper to see how it worked.

Then I did a collage for background before I ever knew what I was going to put in the zine. Then I was looking for something else, and flipping through photo albums from our vacations...and saw some funny pics of me with roadside attractions and cartoon characters at amusement parks, and an idea formed!

I also happened across a poem I had published, and decided I'd include a couple of my favorite short poems. And viola!

The finished minis.

Here's a peek at the inside, and you can see I packed a lot in there. You can see more and buy it in my Etsy shop, or think of something handmade you'd like to trade, like another mini-zine or a chunky ATC or something. I love trades!

What I Made Today

2011-04-29T17:55:00.000-09:00

I made this postcard for my latest Postcrossing recipient. It's collage, stamping, and doodling.

Here's the back. I really had fun with the doodles. I stated Traci Bautista's online class Creative Doodles last night, and my doodles were very much like this in my first lesson.

Laurie Mika's Clay Quilt Class

2011-04-28T20:32:00.000-09:00

First of all, I hate pasta makers and conditioning clay. I'd only ever taken one other clay class and hated it, and I don't like most of what I see made with clay. But I saw Mika's work and was intrigued. The class was fabulous! No pasta makers! We just used rolling pins and lots of rubber stamps. It was great. I'm a convert.

I did not do mine like a quilt, mine was more like houses. I like architecture, and I added some little gears for fun. I was really pleased with the results I got. I definitely want to play with this stuff more.

Here's what my clay looked like before painting:

And here's what it looked like painted and baked:

I might have added too much paint, but I don't care. It was my first try painting clay. I love it.

Here's one someone else did that really appealed to me, as I love bingo numbers and numbers in general. Most of the other people did jewel tones and I don't like those colors--turqoise with orange and purple. Bleah.

Here's some of Mika's work that she had on display:

I LOVE this one. I think that's a tooth! I have some teeth I got from a shop that I could do something like this with, and I also have some tiny shells that would be fun to use for a little window thingie like this. I love how she gets her color on the clay so uneven and variegated. The black and gold look great together.

Iron Chef part 3

2011-04-28T20:04:00.000-09:00

So here's some of Jesse Reno's work on Iron Chef: Oh, and he didn't use anything in the bag. He just did his painting thing, then after he was done he arranged Barbie and a couple other things around the edge of the painting. Kind of cheating. But who cares, right? Because he's just so fascinating to watch as he paints. I want to take his class next year.

Here's another few that I liked:

I love how her headgear looks like one of those old-timey hair dryers.

I like the color scheme combined with the creepiness. Creepiness doesn't have to be dark--it can be bright and happy!

I don't know what all she used from the bag--I think just the box and the blue ring. Mostly I love the big architectural stamp in white. The photos are interesting, too. It does seem to tell some kind of story. That was the problem with a lot of the pieces made--they weren't cohesive, just busy. But, hey, it's 45 minutes!

I like the colored wings here.

Iron Chef part 2

2011-04-20T09:03:00.000-09:00

I don't know who this artist was but I liked her final result better than DeMeng's. I like DeMeng's stuff but I'm not a worshipper. I like Halloween/creepy stuff like this as a rule, and I thought she did a great job with the painting on the face.

Iron Chef Artist Challenge

2011-04-20T08:49:00.001-09:00

The first night after class, there was an "Iron Chef" challenge where a bunch of the instructors competed to make some interesting piece of art. They all got a bag with essentially the same goodies in it, including a naked barbie, a weird insect, a small unfinished wood box, some kind of army man, and I forget what else. The instructors could bring some of their own materials, like paints and tools. It was really fun to watch. Michael DeMeng's table was mobbed most of the time, as well as Jesse Reno's.

Here's some pics:

First, the DeMeng:

Of course, he's the first one to get the Dremel out. I'm across the room and I hear "whiiiii!"

And already, Barbie is a mutant beetle.

With a headdress.

And let's add some quinacrodone whatever.

Some woman asked if those were boobies on the front, and he said, without pause, "Are they Barbie beetle boobies or beetle Barbie boobies?"

The horror is complete. It's like Gregorina Mendel woke one morning...

Roxanne's demo and other students' canvases

2011-04-18T09:19:00.000-09:00

So here's Roxanne Padgett, showing us some of her stencils. She used both stencil brushes and makeup sponges to apply the paint.

Check out the stencils the woman is holding at the bottom of this picture--they are actually waste metal from a jeweler friend of Roxanne's. Roxanne had a whole bunch of them and gave us each one to keep. Mine has circles and squares and rectangles, all little like these.

Here is one of the stencils that everyone ooohed at--a two part stencil of a dress. The finished product is one the paper, and the stencils are just above the paper, the big form has green showing through it and the detail stencil has reddish black all around it. Pretty cool. She showed us how you can easily do a two-part stencil by holding a desired second stencil over top of the first one and paint through both.

This is the canvas that Roxanne was doing her demos on, and then everyone came up at some point and contributed to it--at the end of class Roxanne cut it up and gave everyone a slice. Cool idea!

And next are a bunch of pics I took at the end of class of the canvases I liked best.

I loved this bird. She actually made this stencil in class from the transparency and pics that Roxanne gave us. I made a bird but it wasn't this fancy.

I love the ovals, I want to made a stencil like that.

Very cool use of the white out pen.

Nice color pallette.

First Class: Roxanne Padgett, Lush Layered Canvas

2011-04-18T08:34:00.001-09:00

In this class, we started out with blank canvas, and did, you guessed it, layers. Which has always been intimidating to me, but now I get it. Not as hard as I thought it would be. Start out big, with big brush strokes, splodges of color, and maybe some scribbles.

I made some goofy faces in my scribbles.

Added some collage--just ripped paper of some images Roxanne had for us to use. Started stenciling, which was super fun with paint, because it looks like spray paint, but without the fumes! We used scrapboo- type stencils, and later she showed us how to make our own stencils really easily, using transparencies.

This is my final product for this canvas. We made some of our own stamps out of a couple layers of fun foam. The pink one is mine, as well as the blue trapezoid. I really like the trapezoid, and it's so simple! Another cool thing Roxanne showed us was collograph, which she said is just a fancy word for crayon rubbing. She gave us each a set of chipboard alphabet letters, and we peeled off the backings and stuck the letters on a piece of cardstock. Some people spelled things or lined them up staight, but I did mine randomly. Then you put the piece of cardstock UNDER your canvas, unwrap a crayon and hold it sideways (NOT point down) and rub over the canvas. The letters showed up wonderfully on this piece of canvas, which was artists' canvas (the stuff they stretch over a frame), because it was nice and stiff. The other pieces of fabric she gave us didn't work as well with the rubbing because they had too much give and stretched and moved while I was rubbing.

This piece is regular muslin from the fabric store. You can see the crayon rubbings didn't come out quite as clear. I used the punched out alphabet card to make another rubbing, which I thought looked pretty cool, too.

I love how the orange lacy stencil over the yellow paint on the left edge (btw--this is all just cheapie acrylic paint, no spendy golden brand) looks like spray paint!

I think this is stage 2 and the one above is the final one...there's not enough yellow in this one yet.

So here was the hardest one for me to start, because it was NOT a blank canvas, but a cotton print. So I started with white and a couple collage images.

I stayed with the blue color pallette, and did some big bold circle stencils, then some little blue circles, and a couple flowers and hands. And that rockin' dancin' dude. I loved that stencil.

You can see a little bit on the flowers how I added some blue accents. I also scribbled a bit with a white out pen.

So that was all the canvases I did. We had one more piece of stretchy white fabric that was a bit silky, as well as a thick piece of white paper to work with, but I couldn't do that many in one day. I decided three was enough for me, so I would have more fun and not be rushing.

Each class was a whole day long, in two 3-hour chunks with lunch in between.

ARTFEST!!!!

2011-04-18T07:35:00.000-09:00

Yes, I recently attended my first Artfest, a glorious art retreat in lovely Port Townsend, WA. Actually, what's even better is that it's not in town, but on an old fort, so it's a real community, for 3 1/2 days. I loved it so much, firstly because I got to meet my buddies from an online group I've been in for at least 5 years doing trades and exchanging ideas and support, and got to stay in the same dorm they all gather in, which made it like a big slumber party every night. I was the last to go to bed, always about midnight. Which is 2am in Minnesota time. But I couldn't resist. I had such a fab time with them.

The second great thing was, of course, the art! I loved all 3 of my classes. Great teachers, fun techniques, and I was happy with all of my work. So let's look at some pictures, shall we?

My dorm: Camp Runamuckus, as it's called, 225E by number. Right by the water. Which I never got down to, because there was just so much to do. Next time I'll have to go down there, I hear it's a nice sandy beach.

Our Artfest hosts: Teesha and Tracy Moore. They're very sweet, and their family helps run the whole thing, shuttling you and your suitcases around to the different barracks. The staff includes Grandma, kids, cousins and friends. When they were introducing themselves, one young man said his name, and that he was a graphic designer, "but my real passion is lifting heavy objects for older women."

Our Camp doggie!! We were so lucky, we got a doggie in our dorm, because Rita has a new therapy dog. His name is Zombie. He's the cutest zombie you'll ever see.

Isn't it funny?

2011-04-18T07:18:00.000-09:00

Has anyone noticed on my sidebar that I have a meetup link (that probably doesn't work) for "Proud Member of 'GROUP CLOSING Twin Cities Migraineurs'"? Yes, it's closed. My support group that I started for migraine sufferers, it tanked because no one ever showed up. Because we all had freakin' migraines!! Oh, ha ha. Those wacky migraines!

My brother-in-law showed me this poem recently about headaches and it's supposed to be funny but it just pissed me off because obviously the author had NO CLUE how unfunny the damn things are.

Anyway, I thought it was ironic and tragically funny that I had to close that group. So I left the link up. Because I'm just that kind of wacky.

Getting to Z: How To Finish The Zine You Started

2011-02-28T21:18:00.000-10:00

This is the title of my workshop for the Chicago Zine Fest, which is coming up on March 25-26, just a few weeks from now. I had a different title before, but now I'm changing the workshop to focus on the rewrite process, at the request of the organizers. So I didn't want to use the word rewrite in the title, or edit, or draft, because I know that often frightens people away. I want to make it fun, not dreary. So I've been retooling (rewriting, I could say) my talk, and I came up with this brilliant title. I like it because it reminds me of "Getting To Yes," a classic book about negotiating, and I think of rewriting as a process of negotiating with yourself. I also think I'm clever because of the double play on Z: as an alphabet letter, at the end of the alphabet, and as the first letter of the word zine. Am I some kind of genius or what? Thank you.

Now I have to go back to working on the description. This was my break.

"Rats!" & Hooray, I'm For the Other Team!"

2011-02-24T18:44:00.001-10:00

If you are familiar with Schoolhouse Rock from the 1970's, these phrases will sound familiar. Interjections! Show excitement! Or emotion!

I grew up with Schoolhouse Rock and now my 3-yr-old daughter loves to watch them on DVD. If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, well, Google it. Basically, they were a series of wonderful songs about numbers, grammar, and other stuff, that were developed for TV as PSAs, I think. I"m not Googling it. I was there! Anyway, dducational songs that were really catchy and had wonderful images to go along with them. So. My subject line is two examples from the song about Interjections, one of my favorites. I could sing it for you, but no, let's not do that... what was my point? Oh, all this to make my life seem more fun and exciting!

To file under "Rats!": my comm ed zine class got cancelled because no one signed up. Bummer. I'm going to look into teaching it in Minneapolis Comm Ed in the Fall, or maybe someplace like MCBA or the Loft. I know it will be a great class, I just have to figure out how to find my audience.

Under "Hooray, I'm for the other team!" (this example in the Schl. Rock song was taking place during a football game, and when the away team scored, the home team fan said "Rats!"and the away team fan said "Hooray! I'm for the other team!" Ok, I know, I'm being kind of mental, but I have a migraine and I'm on painkillers and I'm trying to feel productive): I get to teach a workshop at the Chicago Zine Fest!

My workshop will be on rewriting and things like how to focus your ideas into a zine, or into a whole. I think my big idea is how to make sure you're getting across what you want to, how to connect back to that fire inside you felt that got you to sit down and try to do a zine in the first place. I know sometimes ideas can get lost once you start writing, for a number of reasons. You might have an inner editor that gets in your way and makes you correct your sentence structure and spelling before you are even done getting your ideas down. Or maybe you went off on a tangent and forgot what you were really going for. I'll talk about clustering, from the book Writing the Natural Way. And I'll talk about writing specific instead of generalizing, that people like to hear about personal experience, not just opinion. And stuff like that. I still have a month to develop it. And it's only a 45 minute workshop, which I think will probably go really fast. I'm thinking I'll do a handout, too.

Year of the Rabbit ATC's

2011-02-19T14:17:00.000-10:00

A couple of my favorites that I'm making with my bunny stamp that I carved and some candy wrappers that I've been saving for something fun. The blue square stamp means longevity. I really just like how it looks. I didn't carve it. I used a silver paint pen on the edges and I really like how that looks.

Postcrossing

2011-02-19T13:39:00.001-10:00

Have you heard of this? You sign up and get addresses from all over the world to send postcards to. I mean, not just randomly, but to people who have signed up. Once you send some and they get received, then your address goes into the mix and someone will send you a postcard! Cool! It's kind of a simplified version of penpals. I like it because it gives me an excuse to draw/doodle/Zentangle on a little canvas. Then I send it to someone and make them happy!

Check it out, my first postcard, here it is:

The person I sent to was a teenage boy in Poland. And he just received it and here's the comment he left about it:

"Dear Carrie. Your postcard is amazing. I love your drawing, your stamps, the way you write 'M' in my name and also this stamp with Marge. It's very unusual card. You are a great artist. It's the best looking card I've recieved. Thanks a lot. Best wishes. Mateusz"

I used a Simpsons stamp, so that's what he's talking about with "Marge." Pretty nice, huh? It's so gratifying when people like my art!

Anyway, check out Postcrossing, it's a pretty neato idea.

ATC Class Went Great!

2011-02-17T05:42:00.001-10:00

Well, my class went just great. I had fun and the women who took the class want to join our art group! One woman was saying at pretty much every step how much she loved it, and was so enthusiastic, she was superfun to teach. Two more converts to ATC's! I just wish I had brought my camera to class to take pics of the cards my students made. I'll have to remember to do that next time.

It was pretty easy to teach them, and especially with a small group, and I felt very relaxed. I did great with how much time I allowed for making each card, and we had time to look at book and my binders of ATC collections.

I'm offering the class again on April 20th. Come on, you know you want to take it!

ATC class tomorrow

2011-02-14T18:47:00.000-10:00

And here's one of the cards we'll be making. I used metal tape and a stylus and then paint and alcohol inks. It's very shiny, which you can't really see here. I didn't have a lot of people sign up but I'm taking that as an opportunity to do an extra card, this one. I'm just putting the final touches on my handouts tonight. And I have a whopper of a headache. Which I'm praying will be gone tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me!

Boneshaker Books!

2011-01-26T07:41:00.000-10:00

Hooray! A new local bookstore, Boneshaker Books, carries zines! I am so excited! I went there last weekend and brought my zines and some other handmade stuff, and I now have them in the store! My zine Bookstore Thief and some of my zippies and my fabric coasters are all up on display to sell. There's something very satisfying about selling your things in a local store.

The bookstore itself is very nice.It's a small space but very open with hardwood floors and couches for comfy sitting, and a little kid's table and chairs next to the kids' book section. They have new and used books, and oodles of zines. I spent $30 on zines just browsing for a little while there.

Zine Class!

2011-01-17T19:27:00.000-10:00

The second community ed class I'm teaching this quarter is called DIY Publishing: Make Your Own Zine. It's a three-week class (one two-hour class each week), and starts March 2nd.

What's a zine, you ask? Well, it's this thing you write and share with other people. It's like a little magazine (so you see where the word zine comes from--and now you know how to pronounce it--zeen like bean, not zine like mine). But a zine is not mass-produced and driven by corporate advertising. It's usually photocopied and stapled, and sold for a couple bucks or traded for another person's zine. Because you write a zine for fun, not for money, and not to compete with other writers of zines, but to share experiences and build community.

People write zines for lots of reasons, but probably my favorite one is that they don't find their own experience reflected in the popular culture. So they write a zine about their experience, and put it out there, creating some culture of their own. I love that idea, being able to

Create Your Own Culture.

You can write your zine about absolutely anything you're interested in. Write about your life, like Ramsey Beyer does in LIST:

This is one of my absolute favorite zines. It has evocative writing, fun drawings, and it's a fabulous idea--to write about everything in the form of a list--executed to perfection. This type of zine is called a "perzine," short for personal zine, because it's mainly about the zinester's personal experience of life.

Another type of zine is a how-to zine. Craft Leftovers Monthly is a very popular example of this type:

This particular issue was on the theme of making miniatures. Kristin is the editor, but there are many contributors to this zine, and it's chock full of how-to's, website recommendations for how-to's, even memories of how-to's. It's also got a couple interviews with crafters, and they're very informal and fun.

BUZZ is a comic zine done by Corinne Mucha:

Corinne writes about a wide variety of stuff, some serious, some fantastical, all funny.

An Alphabet of London is a comic "one-shot," meaning it doesn't have more than one issue:

This also came in a little slipcase, which just makes it more fun. An alphabet of anything is a great idea, I think, and even if two people do the same topic, it will come out different because they have different interests, beliefs, and experiences. Like R for "Rozzer"? I've never heard that word before, but I love it because now I learned some London slang for copper! This zine inspired me to do an alphabet of Minneapolis.

And here's one more example, an oldie from the 90's when I first discovered zines. Kevin Eldridge writes this hilarious collection of poems called Come Look At My Brain:

Not only do I love the absurd writing in this zine, but the design is funny as well. Each frame looks so serious and classical, juxtaposed with the goofy words within.

So there you have several examples of zines. In my class, I'll give people a chance to browse through some of my collection of zines to get ideas for what they want to write about. Then we'll do some in-class writing exercises to prime the pump, as it were. I'll give you some fun homework to find design elements for your zine. We'll spend time in class assembling your zines, and by the last class you'll have (I hope) a finished product, your first zine!

My hope is that I can work out a way to get copies of each zine to every person in the class, if that is okay with people. So I might have to take your original mock-up with me and then make copies and mail them back to you. I haven't quite figured out the logistics for that yet, but I think it would be great to make that happen, so that you get to see what everyone in class has done as well as start your own zine collection, spurring you on with more ideas to do another zine later!

Sound fun? Sign up here for class!

Me Teacher

2011-01-09T20:29:00.001-10:00

I'm teaching two community ed classes this winter. Or at least I think I am. I know that sounds like I have a problem with committment, but really it's just about having enough people sign up for them. So let me tell you about them! Chris, I know you want to sign up, but really, I don't think you can afford the gas money from California. So behave. I'm teaching in Bloomington, home of the Maul of Amerika.

The first class is about Artist Trading Cards. What? You've never heard of them? Aw. They're fun! They're these little baseball-card sized things that you make and trade with other folks. Why? Because Tiny Things Are Fun, especially art. You'll make at least three in the class, based on models I provide. Here's a sampling of ATC's I've made:

Although I do use some new materials, I like to use things you don't have to buy new, things you might find in a thrift store (my home away from home) or lying about the house. The top left card has a bingo card for a base. The bottom right uses a map from an old atlas. Bottom left, the background is from an old hymnal. And top right is actually made only of bits and pieces I collected at the Minnesota State Fair.

It's a 1-night class, an introduction to making these wonderful little arty pieces. I'll use several different tools and techniques that students will get to play with, too. Last time I taught this class I had people who had never used rubber stamps before, and they loved it. I bring my embossing stuff, paper punches, images to collage with (I love cemetery photos, so I bring a few that I've taken), and just throw out lots of ideas of how you can make them.

I also bring with me a couple albums full of cards I've traded for and with, and books about making ATC's, all for students to browse and be inspired. And I give students a goodie bag full of stuff to take home so they can start making more ATC's as soon as they leave class!

Sketchbook Project

2011-01-09T19:18:00.000-10:00

No, I didn't do it! But my friend Chris did, and she made a video of herself paging through the finished book, so you have to go watch it on her blog. She's really funny with the narration: "And this is a thing that's happening..." is one of many gems.

Christmas Present for A Girlfriend

2010-12-28T18:35:00.000-10:00

I've been really busy this Christmas making a few presents, and this is one of my favorites that I made. My friend Sue is an art pal gal and her nickname that she made up for herself and has on her business cards is Suzela.So I wanted to make her a sign for her space where she makes her art. Neither one us has a studio, but both of us have cluttered rooms where we keep our art stuff and sometimes work. We are both thrift store junkies and love old children's ephemera (which I think is a fancy word for "thingies").

Actually I knew I wanted to get her something from this store that is a mutual favorite of ours--a great place in Minneapolis called Hunt and Gather--but wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it until I started looking. I was collecting letters and then picked a few cards, but wasn't sure how it was going to come together. Then the heavens opened and the angels sang and there was the tray. Hooray! From there I knew exactly how it should look. The clown head was also a key feature I was really happy to find. I already had some wire and knew I'd glue some letters and then attach the others with wire somehow.

I was really happy with the finished piece and she was ecstatic, said it was the best Christmas present ever. Aw! It's so rewarding to make something for someone you love and know that they're going to get great enjoyment out of it.

Now I have to go finish working on another present, this one for my sister--I know, I know, it's after Christmas! She doesn't mind though, and it will be worth the wait, believe me. Pictures to come...

More Cookies

2010-11-23T13:10:00.000-10:00

Here's another group making what I think was my favorite cookie of the bunch, a shortbread with nuts and jam. It shows up on the platter at 6 o'clock, the bars without chocolate. Yum! But, wow, did they have a lot of dough to spread out. And several whole jars of jam. I think that one might have been the most work. It was worth it, though.

Here's a couple shots of the Florentines being made. You can barely see it in the top pic at the very right edge, how tiny the cookies start out when being put on the pan to bake. Now look how much they spread out compared to the bottom pic where she's putting the chocolate drizzle on top. I'm glad I got to see that, so when I try making these, I won't think, oh, that's not enough dough. And I saw the caterer showing them how to do the drizzle, too: you really don't do it slowly. You kind on zing your arm back and forth across the pan over and over and over to get those lovely stripes.

Here's the ladies working with the Palmier cookies, the ones that look kind of pretzels. Don't they look serious? Hey, cookies are serious business.

Here's my partner, S., chowing down on the snack table they had set out for us. Quite a spread! No veggie sandwiches, alas. But great hummus and cheese. And fresh pineapple.

Behind S. you can see another group working, with the only male member of the class. Aw! I was surprised there weren't more men, and that John didn't want to take this class, since he's really the major cook in our family.

Not a great picture of me. But a nice one of the class teacher. And look how much bling she's wearing! Here I thought she'd have no jewelry or nails, like me, because she was cooking. Nope, she had long painted nails and bangly bracelets on, and somehow none of that got in the way. I don't know how some people pull that off, but she did.

And that's the end of the cookie class. It was two hours of mess and fun and divine smells and yummy cookies. Thanks, Betty Crocker. Oh, and we got to take home a cookbook, Good Housekeeping The Great Christmas Cookie Swap Cookbook: 60 Large-Batch Recipes to Bake and Share. My complaint about it is rather spoiled of me: I want a picture for every recipe so I know how it's supposed to look. Wah.

Cookie Exchange Class at Willie Wonka's

2010-11-23T12:22:00.000-10:00

Okay, it wasn't really at Willie Wonka's, but it was at General Mills, in the Betty Crocker Kitchens, so it was kind of like getting to go inside Willie Wonka's. And here's what I went home with! Avert your eyes if you don't want to gain weight just thinking about all the butter on that plate.

Here's the huge mixer we got to use. We were making double batches of already large yield cookie recipes, so these were fab. There were about 20 of us in the class and we split into groups of 2 or 3 and each made a different kind of cookie. Mine was a cinnamon roll cookie, the little circle cookies on the left at 9 o'clock on the platter. This is my partner scraping the bowl after we mixed in, er, well, twice as much flour as we were supposed to use. My bad! But they let us start over and use a whole 'nother pound o' buttah. Nice! I wasn't thinking when I was measuring 5 cups that the "cup" I was using was in an industrial kitchen, so it wasn't really a cup, but a 2-cup measure. Oops!

It was kind of fun to mess up, tho, because at first I didn't realize what I'd done but we didn't think the dough looked right, so when we asked for help from the woman who was running the class, a professional caterer, gave us some tips on how to figure out what might be wrong, or even what the recipe is trying to accomplish. Like our "cinnamon roll" recipe was really trying to be like the leftover pie crust dough mom used to roll up and sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon. At least my mom did that, did yours? I remember it fondly, even though it was more than 30 years ago. And as we went along making the cookies, we figured out together how we would change it if we did it again, which I think I will for Christmas this year.

Here's another group mixing, I think egg whites, with the biggest whisk (attachment for the mondo mixer) I've ever seen in my life.

Here's the later stages of their cookies. You can see a finished one on the platter at 3 o'clock peeking out in between one of the huge florentines and a curly palmier.

Film Week in Review on KPCC

2010-11-11T22:07:00.001-10:00

I"m stuck with a bad headache and can't read or watch a movie, but I've been listening to one of the podcasts Chris mentions in her comment on my post about The Frank Truth, and I love it. I've tried a lot of different podcasts about film, and most of them stink. Either they're just some guys almost talking and giving ridiculous reviews like "it was cool, very cool," or they argue about who was in it, or they are in love with their voices and believe that the great thing about podcasting is that you can prattle on as long as you want without saying a whole lot. Phew!

Film Week in Review is well-produced with real film critics who know their stuff and use their knowledge for good instead of evil, as in they share information related to the film they're critiiquing insted of making asides that only the "in" crowd will get. They also review a wide range of films, everything from The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest to Ticked Off Trannies With Knives.

Thanks, Chris! I have to go crawl back under my ice pack now.

There Oughta Be A Law

2010-11-09T18:56:00.000-10:00

on how many times a DAY you can use your frickin' leaf blower. I mean, MY GOD. This eejit neighbor of mine who has too much time and not enough brains uses that thing an average of 4 times a day! Even if I wasn't having a migraine I'd want to kick his heinie. Can I get an Amen?

A New Book Review by Moi

2010-11-03T18:29:00.000-09:00

One of my recent book reviews of a young adult novel called Siren has just been posted in the Fall 2010 Online edition of Rain Taxi, who I frequently write for. You WANT to read it. Oh, and there's a really well-written down-to-earth, no-hype review of Jonathan Franzen's novel Freedom . I think Franzen stinks, for the exact reason that this reviewer pinpoints. All whinging, no joy. I read part of The Corrections, his first novel, and finally put it down because I could not stand the characters. And I wasn't even repulsed in an interesting way. Just bleah.

Frank Dose

2010-11-03T07:30:00.000-09:00

I listen to podcasts, yes. But they have to be quirky. One of my favorites right now is The Frank Truth, all Frank Sinatra, all the time. And it's not just music, which is fabulous enough. There's also radio dramas, news about recordings and new (old) releases. It's really fun. I just listened to Episode 132, in which we hear the Lux Radio Theatre drama Wake Up and Live. It's so funny, it's about this guy who is a singer but is afraid of the microphone. Of course, it's Sinatra playing the "dope" who faints in front of the mike, says "gee" a lot, and works in the radio station as a tour guy. When he does sing he fumbles in front of the mike and can't sing and then faints, and you can hear the real radio audience laughing, because of course Frank Sinatra is about as far from stage fright as you can get. And even though it's a cheesy radio drama, he's actually a really good actor, playing up the sweet dope role.

No, Really, I'm Sorry

2010-11-03T07:17:00.001-09:00

I'd just like to apologize to everyone in advance, for all the stupid crap that will come out of the insane wingnut Michelle Bachmann's mouth, now that she has been, argh, reelected. I didn't do it, I promise. She's not from Minneapolis, that's all I can say. We wouldn't have elected her.

And, yes, it looks like we'll be having a recount for our governor. I know, just like 2 years ago with Al Franken. Except that Dayton is is .49% ahead, and Franken was only .001% ahead. So really it's just a formality for a sore loser (Emmer). But hopefully it won't take 8 months this time. Oy.

DoD part Deux

2010-10-31T23:01:00.000-09:00

Okay, so now we're at the scene in Dawn of the Dead where they just figured it out that if you get bit, you turn into a zombie. Duh! Haven't any of them seen zombie movies before? "What are they?" someone asks. It's like they don't even know the word zombie.

So White Fella says it's better to kill the ones who are infected before they die and turn into zombies. And who do they know has been bitten? Oh, hey, it's Max Headroom. You can't kill him! He's nice! And you're making his daughter cry. Oh, wait, yeah, he is starting to look kinda zombie-ish...

So why is it that in movies when there's a black American man married to a white woman, she's always European? I think it's a subtle way of not offending Americans who like to think they're ok with interracial marraige but really they're not, unless it's just those Europeans doing it. Hmph.

The couple of which I speak is about to have a baby, and we're hoping it happens before she turns into a zom. Because she's been bitten, and so he's hiding her. And has her tied up! while she's in labor! He's telling her not to scream, to be quiet. Oh, look out honey, them's fightin' words. You can't say that to a woman in labor! Even if she is part zom.

Oh, yuck. A zom baby. Ew. Moving on. Oh, look, the food court where they gather has a coffee place called Hallowed Grounds. Rich with irony, that is. Hey, look, a dog. Now here's a character I can care about!

La la it's kind of boring after this. The ending is rather boring. But you know the scariest thing about this movie? These zoms can run! Fast! The old time zoms could only stumble around slowly, which makes more sense, since they are just reanimated blobs without any muscle memory, right? I mean, that's my zombie logic.

Well, all is well at the end, sort of. The dog survived. And Ving Rhames' character. That's all that's really important. Yawn. Time to hit the lights.

Johnny Cash on Halloween

2010-10-31T21:03:00.001-09:00

I can't believe I've never watched the 2004 Dawn of the Dead before. I mean, I love this kind of crap! The opening credits alone are f-in brilliant. Oh, yeah, and I love Johnny Cash, so hearing him singing about the apocalypse ("The Man Comes Around") while the zombies wreak havoc is perfect.

I'm watching it now, after midnite, because a. toddler is now asleep in bed so it won't scare her, and b. I have a headache and can't sleep. So follow along with me, won't you?

So, yeah, they've just arrived in the mall. After they broke in by throwing a toilet through the window. I love it! A toilet, like their lives are now in one, b/c there's freakin' zombies everywhere. In Milwaukee. I love that it's set in a real town. That makes it more funny somehow, whereas having it set in a nameless town or in Metropolis (same thing) makes it more serious and allegorical. No, this is in the cheese state.

So now White Fella goes into the sports store, and he's got a crowbar (huh? in a sports store?) and he hears a noise. He looks around. For something better than a crowbar? There, he spies a wooden croquet mallet. Is he actually--OMG, yes! he's actually going to put down the crowbar and pick up the croquet mallet instead! Doesn't he know this isn't a vampire movie? Wood is not better than steel. Oh boy, he's really making white folk look stoopid. Oh, wait...now he's going to open that door, too, the one with zombie noises behind it. Good idea! Hey, look, it's a--yes, a zombie, and it's attacking him! Oh, oh, ew! Well, gotta give it to him, he made do with the mallet.

Punkin Light

2010-10-31T17:15:00.000-09:00

These are my arty shots of our pumpkins. If you want to see them from the front, go to my Mommy blog entry.

Arrr! Yo Ho Ho and such!

2010-10-31T17:00:00.000-09:00

Me, as pirate. It was so fun! I've always wanted to be a pretend pirate, so it was a dream come true. I bought the hat and the tattoo sleeves new, but everything else is thrift store. Harley Davidson boots (the only heels I own now): $4. Leather pants with rip in butt: $7. Shirt that I cut up: $2. And then a few accessories, like earrings, shell necklaces, and one necklace made of coffee beans and walnut shells and some other kinds of seeds: $10 I probably spent a total of about $35-40. And I won first prize at the party we went to! I got a jar of homemade brandied pears, but even better than that was the adulation of everyone there (the judging was done by clapping).

The studious pirate. Sue did my makeup. My earrings are so old school that they're clip-on. I braided all my hair except my bangs.

Where the Heck Have I Been?!

2010-10-31T11:11:00.000-09:00

Okay, so I know I haven't written on here in forever. I had a couple really bad migraine battles, which span several days each and then kind of ruin the next few days, and it just snowballs, and I totally lose momentum with the stuff I like to do, like write on my blogs, do art, make zines, etc.

That's one of the hardest things about living with migraine disease. I lose momentum. I actually like structure to my days, but migraines just knock everything all wonky. But in September I volunteered to host a chunky book for an art group I'm in, with a Halloween/Day of the Dead theme, and I'm really happy right now because I just finished binding them all and they look fabulous. I'll try to get some pics on here soon of those. I know, today is Halloween! It would be nice if I could them up today, but I am on narcs right now for a migraine, and sitting or lying still is the best thing for it, so I may be stuck just writing today without any visual aids.

I'm not getting any exercise outside, but I have been doing the Wii Fit games, and it's really fun. I find myself running for 30 minutes without realizing how much time has passed. So I've just ordered another Wii game, the Dance Dance Revolution game and mat. I have seen kids playing it at arcades and at the Fair, and thought it looked like a lot of fun to do, but not in public. Hey, I'm not a teenager anymore, I'd rather climb the learning curve in the privacy of my own living room, with only my toddler laughing at me!

So one thing I've done to climb out of the pit of migraines is propose two community ed classes. I love being Mommy to Lily, but I am really missing doing some other kind of work. Unfortunately the job of parenting is not a confidence booster. And I need to feel like I have skills again, and share them with people.

The two classes I'm proposing are "Artist Trading Cards: Make a Little Piece of Art" and "DIY Publishing: Make Your Own Zine." (I love subtitles.) I taught the ATC class four years ago and the class went really well, although I totally brought too many supplies to the class and kind of overwhelmed myself. I plan to cut back this time. It's a one-evening class, so I can only do so much. The zine class will be longer, 3 sessions, and is something I've been thinking about doing for at least a year. I'm really looking forward to it, and the idea of creating more zinesters makes me very happy. I've even dug out my zine collections from 15-20 years ago when I did my first zine, called Every Girl's Dream. I'm thinking about reprinting it. There's one thing I'd have to rewrite, but I think everything else would still be fun. I have a lot of mass transit stories from back when I had no car, and I think those are timelessly entertaining. One of my favorite current zines is called Constant Rider, all true stories about using mass transit. I don't use mass transit much right now, but I still love stories about it. You meet such a fabulous variety of people there!

So my classes will be next Feb.and March, if enough people sign up. (they'll be in the Bloomington Community Ed class catalog for Winnter 2011, and I'll post links here when the catalog comes out , in case any of you reading this are interested and near Bloomington, MN.) I thought about proposing these classes for Minneapolis, since I live in Minneapolis, but I've worked with Bloomington before and they were really nice. And when I tried proposing the ATC class four years ago for Minneapolis, I had a huge hassle. I remember when I finally got a call back at the last minute from someone I'd been trying to reach for weeks, he practically begged me to teach the class, but I was so disgusted with the run-around I'd gotten, I just said forget it. I don't like the way their system is set up, where you have to apply to each class location separately, and the coordinator of that school's program might call you. Stupid. Why can't they have a central coordinator like Bloomington and put me in the location they think best? Grrr.

I have enough material now to put together another issue of Bookstore Thief, and probably two issues of the migraine zine. My material has been languishing, but now I have a deadline of sorts, as I want to have them done by the time I teach the zine class. I'd like the students to see that you can do a zine on anything that you're interested in, and you even do more than one! I'm also thinking that making some new zines will spark ideas for sharing in class. I mean, it's been 3 years since I put out the first Bookstore Thief, so I'm sure I'm a little rusty. I just wish I had a big white table to spread out on and leave stuff as I worked on it. No such luck! Well, no, actually I do have a big white table. In fact, I have two that I got last year for the two art festivals I did with my buddy Sue. But is there anywhere to put one where it won't be disturbed for several months? Hmm. I would have to move some functional furniture out of the way, but really it's chairs that only get used when we infrequently have a lot of people over. They look nice, but who cares about that?

Minnesota State Fair Fine Art Show preview

2010-09-02T20:57:00.000-09:00

I gotta go to bed, but first a preview of the Fine Art show. Here's my favorite that I voted for (there's a people's choice favorite that gets bragging rights all year when the fair is over). It's called "Rusty on the Sound" and the artist is Kat Corrigan from Minneapolis. I love the colors, and the fat brush strokes that seem to go along with the subject matter--a big dog--and it's also neat how when you walk back away from the painting, the reflection really pops. It's about 3 feet tall, so it really makes a statement.

Minnesota State Fair Crop Art!

2010-09-02T20:42:00.002-09:00

One of my favorite parts of the State Fair is the crop art gallery. It's art done with seeds, and these are a few of my favorites this year. I thought this one was clever and really nice looking. And it has a dog. So that always makes it good. He's a fun dog, kind of reminds me of Mr. Peabody.

And here we have a Barbie. Funny. I think she's got some melanoma on her legs, though. Better get that checked out, hon.

And I LOVE this one. See, some of these pieces are silly, and some are very amateurish. And then you have some like this, that had to take weeks, even months to make. It's really a nice piece of art. I would put it on my wall. Way to go, Darlene. And she got a blue ribbon!

And here's another amazing piece. This one also got a blue ribbon. And it uses about 30 different kinds of seeds.

Crocheting Fool

2010-09-02T20:26:00.000-09:00

I've been crocheting a lot lately. Here's a square I recently finished. The colors are a little washed out in this shot, but you can still see the structure. I've made several of these in this pattern with different colors.

Day of the Dead carved stamp

2010-09-02T20:21:00.000-09:00

I carved a new stamp! I love carving stamps. I'm doing a Day of the Dead shrine and also a fat book, so I wanted something new to use, a new image. I looked through my book of images I've saved for inspiration, and found this page from a book about the holiday. That's the small image on the right. I added a scarf and left off the moon and stars on his nightshirt, and here's what I came up with. You can see both my stamp and the image it makes when I use it. Isn't it cool? I love it!

Imagination vs. Provided Imagery

2010-08-18T20:03:00.000-09:00

Or, put more simply, book vs. movie. I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to watch the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I read the book and really enjoyed it. it's an exciting adventure with a mystery and lots of over the top IT feats and compelling, interesting characters.But there are [SPOILER ALERT] a couple of really brutal rapes in the book that I don't think I want to see on the screen. It was one thing to read it, but I really don't want to see it depicted on screen. I'm a very visual person and I'm afraid it will get stuck in my head and be icky.

As I'm saying this, I'm thinking how odd it is. I mean, isn't the imagination more powerful than a provided image? Maybe it's that I didn't try to imagine those parts too much when I read them; I just wanted to get past them to the next part of the story. But in a movie, I can't gloss over it. I suppose I could fast forward. I don't know.

The other night I watched an episode of Hawthorne called "Mother's Day," in which a little baby dies, and I cried and cried! It just blindsided me, I couldn't take it. I don't do that very often, cry from a TV show or even a good movie. I'm usually too much the analytical writer, noticing how powerful a scene is and why, to get caught up enough to respond so viscerally as to cry. But that one really got to me. And that experience reminded how sometimes imagery has a more powerful effect than my imagination.

The interesting thing is, in this TV episode, they really didn't show much of the baby. You saw a glimpse of her from the side in a car seat, with her little sunhat, and you saw her little naked toes and her hands. After that, you really only saw the doctors and nurses working on her, but you didn't see the baby. Just the faces of the doctors and nurses. So maybe it actually was my imagination that was so powerful, filling in what wasn't shown! Or maybe it was a combination of both. Yeah, I think that's it.

This reminds me of how in monster movies, it's always scarier when you don't actually see the monster, or only get a glimpse of the monster, until really late in the story. Perfect example:Jaws. All you see for 90% of the movie (I just made up that percentage; I'm guessing) is a fin. Just a fin! What's so scary about a fin? Well, it's the characters' reaction to that fin, and to what else they can see and feel (the ouch, it's biting me kind of feeling) that you can't.

Anyway, has anyone seen the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Are the icky scenes really icky? Did they bug you afterward? Are you scarred for life?

all right, blogger is pissing me off with it's extra line breaks after a link to an amazon product. they just had this great hookup with Amazon, so I thought this stoopid problem would be gone. But no. And I don't feel like trying to fix it right now, not after spending too long on it last night with no success. I thumb my nose at you, computer!!

A Herd of Cats

2010-08-12T13:28:00.003-09:00

Thirty of them, to be precise. I started reading another drawing book called Drawing Lab and the first exercise is to draw 30 cats. I numbered them so you can tell my progress. I think I was supposed to do this in about 10 minutes but I took about 40. It was fun. Some of these I actually like. Some of them are embarrassing. Number 15 looks like a pug, #24 looks like a Weeble, and #6 looks like he has a worm problem. Only the Weeble quality was intentional. Which are your favorites?

More Moon Doodles

2010-08-12T09:36:00.004-09:00

Ok, so maybe you're getting sick of these. But I'm not. Sometimes I think something turned out really well so I want to do it over and over again different ways. With these I used some new Zentangles I learned from this great book I got called Totally Tangled.

So the moon guy on the bottom got a little squished, but I think he has personality. And I love the new Tangles I tried.

I think I would like making a big one of these with lots more bands of doodles. And I could add some color. Just a little, like one or two colors.

A Fourple

2010-08-11T21:44:00.003-09:00

So, I'm crocheting from this pattern, and it tells me to do this stitch that I haven't done before. It's called a double treble crochet stitch. It sounds very complicated, doesn't it? Well, once I read how to do it, and actually tried it, I was rather unimpressed!

If you don't crochet, let me explain it this way: There's these basic stitches that are different sizes and they are the single crochet, double crochet and treble crochet. 1,2, 3. Simple? (Oh, and there's a half double crochet that's in between a single and a double. So it should really be called a one-and-a-half crochet stitch. You start to see the problem...) Makes sense, right? So then here comes some mysterious monster called the double treble. What? Well, I did it, and it turns out it's really a quadruple crochet stitch. Or, as I would like to call it, a fourple crochet stitch.

My point is, who was on drugs when they came up with this system of naming crochet stitches?! I mean, I'm not an expert crocheter, I only started a few months ago, but I can count. A double treble is not two trebles, as I first suspected. And it's not six units long, it's not a sixple (2 x 3). No, it's four. When does six equal four? Only in America, evidently.

See, I heard from my crochet teacher that the British have a much more logical system of naming crochet stitches. But we Americans couldn't be satisfied with the Brit system. Oh, no. As if King George was keeping the colonists under his thumb by forcing them to use British crochet. Maybe there was even some special protest, like the stupid Boston Tea Party. Maybe a bunch of crocheters threw their crochet hooks and yarn into a lake. Only things went horribly awry. Frogs and ducks hobbling around, tangled up in yarn; fish horking up crochet hooks. What a disaster! It was embarrassing. And when the local beat reporter went out to write a story, lifelong crocheters claimed they were ironsmiths and barkeeps. They refused to be interviewed. So the story went unreported. And was lost to time.

Am I obsessing about this? Probably. But I like things to be logical. I'm a logical person, and I love math. And this is just wrong. It should not be! Well, I'm pushing back. All my double trebles shall henceforth be known as fourples. And if I ever get good enough to write a pattern...fourples.

Some Doodle ATC's

2010-07-28T18:49:00.003-09:00

I did this a while ago but then lost it, and I just found it again. I think it's cute. I sort of did the altered text thing on it, but then I mostly circled partial words like "gry" and "der" just to be contrary. I'm so clever.

I call these "Arranging the Stars." They are supposed to be moon-themed and I didn't want to do a moon face, so instead I have the moon busy doing something.

tiny shrine

2010-07-28T18:46:00.002-09:00

I made this for a friend who was having a really crappy week. It's only 6 inches tall, so those pom-poms are eency. The text says, "O I'm so happi for you." My friend loved it, which makes me very happy.

Betadyne not so great?

2010-07-28T18:29:00.003-09:00

So here's the inside of the box, showing the back and side that I've put a couple coats of Betadyne on, as I mentioned in an earlier post. It's supposed to work just as good as Alcohol Ink. Hmmmmm....it's very faded from when I first put it on. I don't like it, it just looks dirty. Now I'm wondering about this shortcut. How many coats am I gonna have to put on? Bother.

See, here's the side I have not painted at all yet with the Betadyne. It looks nice and clean. Now I kinda wish I hadn't done the other sides. Argh! Well, this may turn out to be a big experiment in techniques. I think my problem is that I was so eager to do a lot, because I've been so sick lately and haven't had a chance to work on a project of this scale in a long time, that I went a bit nutso. I bet you can all relate to doing this at some point. Maybe I'll grow out of it. I know I'm much better not than I was 10 years ago at now doing this kind of thing when I'm writing. I mean, if I do pack too much into a sentence or paragraph or even the whole piece of writing, I'm very good now at editing myself and letting go of those bits which don't belong. So maybe I'll get better at editing my art in time.

The Iron Paint and Rust Patina

2010-07-28T18:23:00.002-09:00

So here's a better look at the rust patina, over the iron pain, which I splotched (technical term) over black paint. I really love the look of this. I'm just not sure it's working with the toy theme. I just couldn't resist trying the iron paint while I was in the workshop.

The back panel

2010-07-28T18:20:00.003-09:00

Here's a picture of the thingy I was describing that will go in the back of the inside of the box. The black things are the lights. Well, the mounts that hold the lights, anyway. The lights themselves are pretty tiny. I hope they all work, they've been bent every which way just from me carrying it home and then taking it out again to show my art group. Aren't the tiny pencils just darling??

That stuff on top of the box

2010-07-22T18:32:00.004-09:00

The stuff on the top of the shrine is all loose right now, just piled up there. There's some chess pieces that I colored with alcohol ink and then there's a big square pegboard from the game Battleship that I've mounted lights onto and also glued an array of tiny colored pencils I also have saved from my childhood. I'll get a better picture of that later. It's hard because it's transparent and it will look much better mounted but I'm not done painting the back of the box behind the swing yet where it will be mounted.

Here's a tip from Jane Wynn: instead of alcohol ink for the color Butterscotch (one of my faves), use Betadyne from the drugstore. It's a little tacky to the touch at first, and you do have to do more than one coat to get that rich color, but it's waaaaaaay cheaper! I'm using that on the inside walls of my box and it's working well so far. Oh, and I don't know if you can tell but the sides of the box inside have puzzle pieces glued on. See, here's another mix of themes: toys and games. But I really don't think I can separate those two. They are intertwined in my life.

The Shrine Box

2010-07-21T17:42:00.005-09:00

So, it's not done. But here's what is going on: The swing with the toy queen. I found a little wooden chair and cut the legs off and spray-painted it gold. Then I glued a bunch of metal gear things on it and on top, the Fisher Price Mommy, who is the toy queen. Jane kept calling it a weeble, which made me unaccountable annoyed. She's not a Weeble. I had Weebles, they are oval-shaped. There's a big difference.

See, this is why I need to have a toy shrine. Because I am obsessed. With my toys. MY toys. Not my daughter's, MINE. That Snoopy wagon is from when I was a kid. I also have a Woodstock one. I've kept them this whole time. And I have some Hot Wheels and some other stuff. I want to make a couple ramps in the box to have the cars on. And on the bottom, which I've painted kind of ocean colors, I wanted to put some of my ocean driftwood and shells. Because I spent a lot of time outdoors as a kid at the beach, and also making little roads and landscapes for my cars to play and drive in.

Er, I might be trying to do too much in one shrine, I am realizing. Jane told this great story about trying to put too much in one piece of art, how one of her tough art teachers said to her, looking at a piece of art she brought in to review, "Oh, you're one of those girls who puts on all her jewelry to go to a party."

I might be doing that. Maybe I'll make a separate beach shrine. Or two. I love driftwood.

Power Tools

2010-07-20T08:44:00.003-09:00

This is my box. I made it. I made the box! This was one of the best parts of this workshop. Jane first showed me how to figure out what size I wanted for a box, and then once I figured that out, I ripped apart the crappy milk crate I had bought from Michael's, and then used a power saw, actually a jigsaw, to cut the boards to size that I wanted. Then I drilled holes (Valley Ridge has a fab toolbench in the workroom with drills just hanging there waiting for your little hands to hold them and your feet to hit the power pedal--kinda like a sewing machine). Then I hammered in the nails, and I had my box! So, I built it! I know, you're probably like, big whoop, but this felt really good to me. I felt like my Dad, the tool King, would be so proud.

Then I painted the outside black, which you can see I'm in the middle of here. After that I used this iron paint that Jane brought, and then painted patina over it so it has a rusted look. I'll get a better picture of that later. I gotta go buy some of that fun metal paint. It's so fun, it makes it possible to patina any surface, basically. I had to fiddle with my box because it was new wood. Other people had fabulous old boxes with wonderful color already built in.

Okay, more later, I have to go run Mommy errands now.

Valley Ridge Art Studio class

2010-07-20T08:33:00.002-09:00

No, I didn't make this. My instructor Jane Wynn at Valley Ridge Art Studio did. Isn't it cool? I just couldn't resist "The New Meat Rules." I love the thing that looks like a potato and has an eye, too. And the lights. Who doesn't love tiny lights? So this thingy, a shrine, I suppose you could call it, is like what we were attempting in her class, Hunter, Gatherer, Maker.

Letterboxing

2010-07-16T20:01:00.004-09:00

Yeah, I wrote an article about this topic a while back, and now MOQ is re-posting it so more readers can enjoy it. If you're curious about this outdoor art sport, or you just find my writing captivating in general, check it out.

History through Donut-Flavored Lenses

2010-07-16T18:32:00.003-09:00

I just finished reading this fabulous little zine called Scam #5 1/2 The Epicenter of Crime: The Hunt's Donuts Story, written by Eric Lyle. It's my favorite kind of zine, which is the kind that tells me about something I never would have known about, especially about a particular place, in a fun and interesting way. In other words, I guess it's history. But history always bored me when I was in school. Now I'm fascinated with the whole WWII era, and I love reading pop culture histories, like Finding Betty Crocker and Something from the Oven, and of course James Lileks' irreverant take on 70's interior design, Interior Desecrations.

But I digress. A little. The Epicenter of Crime is about San Francisco's Mission district, which I know very little about. I once took a vacation in San Francisco by myself and I think I walked through it. I took public transit everywhere, so I'm sure I was there. And I think I even went there on purpose to see some museum or something. But I don't remember it that well, because it was a depressing vacation. Or I should say I was depressed. And I walked my legs off every day, determined to see as many cultural high points as possible.

My mom and older sister lived there for a long time, so I hear about it sometimes. But that was in the late 50's-early 60's, before I even existed. So I sort of inherited this fascination with San Francisco, without ever having lived there or even really visited there much.

Lyle's history in this zine takes place over several decades, starting in the 50's, when the Hunt's Donuts shop was built. It's a political history, really, which would normally bore me to tears. I'm just not a political animal. Oh, I'm sure I am when it comes to certain things. And I always vote. But I grew up after Nixon, when politics became a dirty word. And it's still dirty. I remember I got this board game in the 70's from my San Francisco-living aunt called Lie, Cheat, and Steal. You're a politician, and guess what you do to win the game? I learned new words like graft. I look back now and wonder if this was appropriate for a 10-yr old. Probably not. Of course, this is the same aunt who gave us a dartboard when we were about 6 years old. This wasn't the kind with velcro ends. These were the real deal. Bit deadly for small children. She might have still been drinking then. Mom took it away.

The Epicenter of Crime is about the changes in the Mission district from post-WWII, when it was a thriving center of industry, through the turbulent 60's and 70's, when the old immigrants (Irish) fought against the new immigrants (Latinos) for control of the community, to the 90's, when gentrification came up against decades of crime and finally killed a landmark, Hunt's Donuts. When I read the description of this zine at Microcosm, I have to admit that what attracted me was not the political stuff, or the punk history. It was the donut shop.

Donuts have some special draw, don't they? And the shop that donuts come from? It's a cultural beacon. My Dad used to get us Winchell's every weekend. I think it's what we did instead of church. Every Sunday, a box full of beautiful donuts. Sprinkles, chocolate, glazed, jelly. They were more lovely than jewels. And full of happiness.

So I love that Lyle's history is told from a donut shop. I love how the donut shop owner became a "donut tycoon" and helped get a mayor elected, and did things like sponsor a city baseball team for kids. That's the American dream.

I'd never heard of "Los Siete de la Raza," seven Latino boys who were blamed for the shooting of an often drunk and violent cop who instigated a "raid" on one of the kids' parents' house because he suspected that the furniture that some of the boys were helping move into the home was stolen. These were college kids. Yes, they hung out at Hunt's, where a lot of criminal types hung out. But they were there to recruit kids to go to college!

Lyle is good at making history come alive, because he tells about each of the players in the story, makes them all humans. Fits them into a history they might not even suspect they are part of, like the Cambodian couple who escaped the Pol Pot regime and took over Hunt's in the 90's, unaware of its reputation as a gathering spot for all kinds of criminal types, most notably those selling stolen merchandise.

Librarians, real estate agents, they're all caught up in Hunt's and its history, as Lyle finds out when he interviews them. He gets yelled at and lectured when he least expects it, just for asking about a donut shop. How fascinating is that?

I highly recommend it.

I definitely have a thing about donuts. We got this new picture book for Lily called The Donut Chef. I love it because it's about how these two donut chefs compete for making the most fanciest donuts ever and then this little girl just wants a glazed donut. And everyone is like, "Oh yeah, those were good." I suppose you could say it's political in some way. I think it's against gentrification and the $7 cup of coffee that isn't really even coffee anymore. Some of the messages I get are 1. simple is good. 2. stick with what works 3. kids are smart 4. freakishly different is not better. And of course, Donut Good.

Whose Blog?

2010-07-16T18:29:00.002-09:00

I have been wanting to write here lately but felt like I shouldn't because I've gotten so used to posting about my art and showing pictures, that when I want to write about something else, I feel like I can't.

Well, whose blog is it anyway? I will not be compartmentalized, in the spirit of The Prisoner. If you're lost, well, go wiki it. What I'm trying to do is claim my blog and write again. I'm not just an artist, I'm a writer, too. So there, me. I gave myself a good talking to. Hope you won't be bored if I don't have eye candy...here goes.

My Zine is at the Distro!

2010-06-29T22:44:00.003-09:00

Hooray! It's really real, my zine Bookstore Thief is now available at Microcosm Publishing. I am so thrilled to be part of this distro, especially as I've been reading a bunch of zines I ordered from them and I'm finding that they have really great quality picks. They wrote a nice blurb about my zine, too, describing it well.

Struggling

2010-05-17T17:31:00.003-09:00

I'm getting a lot of headaches right now, as well as flare-ups of fybromyalgia. I'm not a patient patient, so I get frustrated quickly. I try to remember that when I'm feeling crappy, my life looks a lot worse than it is. Maybe that's not exactly it, I think it's more that it feels so overwhelming when I've got a headache and I'm in constant pain from the fybro.

So I'm struggling right now. I can only do so much, and I fall behind on everything. I don't respond to emails from friends, and I feel guilty. I don't have the energy to do art projects and I really need that art-making. I feel enthusiastic and excited about doing the art, but then I'm too exhausted physically and mentally to do it. My art room is a huge mess. I have these nice new shelves along one wall that J. put in for me right after Christmas, but then that's when my headches et al. got so much worse. So there's stuff scattered all over the floor, the desk and work areas are cluttered with piles, and there's barely any room to walk on the floor. I hate it. I want it to be all clean and organized and I just can't catch up on other priorities enough to do it.

Okay, now I'm crying. It's so frustrating. I don't want to be sick! I want out of this club! I remember when we found a support group after we had a miscarraige of our first baby, back in 2003. The facilitator said, "Welcome to the club you never wanted to join." It wasn't meant to be cheeky, but very honest, and it hit the nail on the head. I'd wake up in the morning and remember, every day, that I was still in this club of parents who'd lost their babies. It was never going to end. I'll feel that loss the rest of my life. And now I'm in this club of sickies. It affects every aspect of my life. And even when it's better, I'm still in the club. Because I don't have a lot of good days right now, when I have a good day I feel this craziness because there's so many things I want to do and I won't be able to do them all and I have to decide how to spend my time best. It's a weird way to live.

Freaky Freaky

2010-05-10T20:25:00.002-09:00

I was just working on my Minneaoplis zine, drawing a picture of a scorpion, when--oh wait, you're wondering why the heck I'm drawing a picture of a scorpion if the zine is about Minneapolis, right? Well, I'm talking about learning about where you live, and how when I lived in Arizona, I learned a lot about scorpions.

Okay, so back to the action: I'm drawing a picture of a scorpion, when out of the corner of my eye, I see a large something go skittering across the floor. I look, and all I can see is a long brown blur, because I have my reading glasses on, and, thank God, it's far enough away that I can't focus on it. Well, it stops in its tracks when I move, so I try to squint at it, or at least lean over in my chair to see more. It's huge! Okay, 4 inches long. Too stretched out and rectangular to be a spider. Long feathery legs. Only the word "feathery" would seem to imply beauty. But all I feel is revulsion.

I decide that whatever the hell it is, it's going to die now. I cross my fingers and hold my breath, then toss my Puma high-top at it. Hooray! Squish successful! I sit there for a few minutes before I dare to go look underneath the shoe. Well, I don't know what it is still. A centipede? Not enough legs. So what's in between an arachnid and a centipede on the leg-o-meter? I don't know. And I'm not researching it tonight. I'm probably already going to have bug dreams.

Lalala let's talk about something else. But seriously, how weird is it that happened? We don't get a lot of bugs in Minnesota. That's one of the things I like about it very much. Ants, brown house spiders, that's about it. It was almost serendipitous, except that word implies a happy coincidence, and I was not happy. There must a word that means a negative kind of coincidence. Anyone? Bueller?

I Have a Distro for my Zine!

2010-05-08T08:37:00.003-09:00

I am so excited! Someone reviewed my zine Bookstore Thief in a review zine called Zine World, and soon after that, I got an email from someone at a distro called Microcosm wanting a review copy. I sent it happily but didn't pay much attention. Zine distros are all over the place and don't last long. Well, I got a follow up email within 2 weeks (that's lightning fast in zine time), and they want to carry my zine. So then I looked up their website and found to my amazement that Microcosm Publishing is one of the largest and longest-lasting distros of zines in the country! They're very professional-looking and it looks like they carry some great stuff. I'll know soon, as I just ordered and recieved a big pkg of about 15 different zines.

It's just so gratifying to have them seek me out, you know? I don't have a lot of time to spend on publicizing the artwork that I sell, including this zine, and God knows if anyone ever sees it on my Artfire shop. I love Artfire, but I never get any traffic on my studio. I don't like using Etsy very much, but every now and then, I get sales there.

A couple weeks before all this happened, I'd been writing more and deciding that I want to do a bunch of different zine projects. I am trying to get past my inner critic about writing (well, and everything else, too, but this is my latest focus), that voice that interrogates me every time I just feel like writing about something. Is it going to be a book? What will you do with it? What use will it be? These are some of the pushy, annoying questions I get. So, to make that little voice distracted (you really can't shut it up, you just have to work with it), I've decided to do a bunch of small projects. That way I get the satisfaction of sharing my writing, and it doesn't have to be the Great American Novel, whatever the heck that is.

And now I have an established distributor! So when I finish some of these other projects, I will send them to Sparky at Microcosm and see if she feels they would appeal to the Microcosm audience. This is very life-affirming for me. I've been feeling really disconnected from doing things I love that connect me to the rest of the community. Well, really several communities. There's my art group community that I meet with monthly, and this last time we met at my house and we did a round robin of doodle ATC's, just sort of decided on the spot to do it because my sharpies were out on the table. It was wonderful! No pressure, just have fun and share. This is why I'm in this group, after all, to have fun! Then there's the zine community, which I miss. I used to be very involved in it and have subscribers to the zine I wrote, and then life interfered as it does. That was almost twenty years ago. Okay, now I feel old. But I digress. I miss that quirky community of art and writing that is far removed from corporate culture.

I joined We Make Zines a couple years ago when I finished Bookstore Thief but I haven't been active on it in a while. Maybe that will change now. But maybe not. I do what I can, and I have to stop feeling guilty that I can't do as much as I could in my twenties. I'm a mommy, for goodness sake. And then I have all that migraine crap to deal with. So I do what I can and I choose carefully how to spend my time.

Anyhow, here's some ideas I have for zines:

1. an occasional zine about things I love about living in Minneapolis. I took some photos the other day of the 46th st. light rail station and I'm hoping to include one or two of those in the first issue. I love finding out about the city I live in, and I know doing this project will help me find even more fun things about Mpls.

2. A robot coloring book. I'm working on this one right now. I've had it in my head for about four years, and I finally pulled out some of my old robot drawings and then looked on the web for inspiration for drawing more. My goal is to have 14 and then I'll make a 1/4 size booklet of them. One of my fave drawings so far is called Thrift Store Lamp Robot. Oh yes, I'm having fun.

3. A migraine zine. There are just so many things I want to put in this, it's not even funny. And I have not seen anything out there like this. Maybe because no one feels like writing when they have a stinkin' migraine. I'm fighting one right now, in fact. I want to get this down before I have to break down and take some Perco. Because then my brain will be too mushy to talk all organized-like.

So there's some of my ambitions. I realize now, after writing this, that although that's not all of my ideas, I am actually actively working on all three of those right now. That's pretty amazing, don't you think? I rock.

Zentanglin' and Toesies

2010-04-06T11:38:00.003-09:00

These are some February hearts-and-flowers-themed zentangles I did. Here Lily helps me get a good shot by sticking her toes on one of the cards.

January themed doodle ATC's

2010-03-11T15:18:00.003-10:00

And here are some snowmen I did for a swap. I wanted to make them sort of steampunk but also doodly. The green inside the snowman is supposed to represent Spring hidden under the snow. I colored them with watercolors after I was finished drawing.

Fall doodle ATC's

2010-03-11T15:06:00.002-10:00

Here are the mostly final versions of my Fall ATC's that I did for a swap. I added some red ink around the edges after this, and then they were done. I really like how they turned out.

What a fabulous hat!

2010-03-11T14:52:00.002-10:00

And, of course, an adorable baby. I could have put this pic on my Mommy blog, but I wanted to share it here because I knit this hit for Lily and I've had so many complimens on it that I thought, "Hey, I guess I'm pretty good at this knitting thing!" Best of all, Lily loves wearing the hat.

Puzzle Time

2010-03-11T14:18:00.003-10:00

I love doing jigsaw puzzles and recently set up a table in the living room to have space just for doing puzzles. We all like doing them and I think it encourages Lily to do her puzzles, too. And we'll give her pieces to put in the big puzzle so she's part of it, too. I think puzzles work your brain in a way most everyday activities don't. Better than TV, if I can do more than sit up lately.

My favorite kind of puzzles are ones with lots of little details, like Charles Wysocki puzzles. Those puzzles with one big picture on them are really boring for me. Not my kind of challenge. So this is one we just finished. Wysocki is an Americana artist and not really the kind of art I'd want on my walls, but they're fabulous for puzzles.

The Headache That Ate Minneapolis

2010-02-27T07:40:00.002-10:00

Notice I'm not saying "the headache that ate my brain." That's kind of a touchy subject, so instead of projecting my pain inwards, I'm projecting it out onto the city. Beware, Minneapolis, this could hurt.

The infusion helped me for about a day and a half. I got to sleep. It was a so-so solution, that will cost about $150. Oy.

So I've been watching more movies. My vision seems to be getting worse, that is, when I have headaches, so I can't read for distraction, which is very annoying, as it's one of my favorite things to do and a pleasure that combats the frustration with the headache as well as being a distraction from the pain. I don't wanna think about it too much.

So, movies! I've seen some great ones lately.

Beautiful Losers was really interesting, a documentary about a group of visual artists who found inspiration and motivation from each other and how they did small shows together, even when nobody knew their work. Several of these anti-establishment artists are now part of the mainstream culture-- Shepard Fairey (the red and blue poster of Obama with the word "HOPE" under it) Stephen "ESPO" Powers, Geoff McFettride (think "Oneify," the 2005 Pepsi campaign), and Margaret Kilgallen among them.

I sometimes found the film annoying because the artists are pretty inarticulate about their art and what it means to them, but then again that's why they make visual art, right? Not necessarily, of course, as some writers are artists (ahem!) and vice versa. But I think it's pretty common that visual artists don't know how to talk about their work. And the other thing is, the filmmaker plays with this inability to articulate at times, and makes it funny. I did get weary of what one reviewer aptly described as the "slacker ennui," how nothing matters in the end because we're all dust. Overall, though, it was a really engaging documentary, especially knowing that some of these artists (notably, Shepard Fairey) are not doing so well negotiating the establishment now that they are part of it. It's a great question to consider: what happens when you hate the mass culture because they don't understand you, and then they suddenly get you and everyone wants to be like you, so much that they imitate your art?

2010-02-15T08:31:00.002-10:00

Going in for an infusion in a few minutes, for my week-long headache that I'm oh so tired of. I called my doctor this morning as soon as the clinic opened and had to wait 4 hours to hear back an approval and get an appt. time for an infusion. Suck. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Fun Drawing

2010-02-09T19:08:00.003-10:00

Here's a drawing I did, next to my inspiration, done by Jim Flora. I really love my drawing, I'm very happy with how it turned out.

On A Scale of 1 to 10

2010-02-09T18:34:00.003-10:00

7,412. That's how sick I am of having to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being I find it fascinating and 10 being I'm so tired of it that I could conceivably invent a new system of counting that obliterate the numbers 1 through 10.

I'm always having to rate my headache pain, like it's a movie. Of course the plot is completely unoriginal, and all the sequels are the same movie. Is the narrator trustworthy? Is the main character likeable? Did the pacing keep you riveted? I give it a thumbs down. "Trite." "Predictable." "Unresolved ending."

It sounds funny, and I need that, for it to be funny, because it gets damn tiring. But I'm starting to understand how people can get addicted to painkillers. Here is my theory: they get tired of constantly rating the pain, deciding if it's bad enough to take something to help. I go through this every week. I can only take painkillers 3 days a week. I have headaches pretty much 7 days a week, and most of them right now get up to a 7 out of 10. So here's what I go through each day, in my beleagured brain:

ow. that hurts. but does it hurt that much? might the pain be worse tomorrow? i only have two days left this week when i can take pain pills. should i use the get-out-of-jail-on-electronic-anklet card [it's never a get-out-jail-free card, there's always a cost] today or try to wait until tomorrow? what do i have to do today? can i get through it without any help?

See how fun that is? And whenever I decide to take the pain pills, I feel like a failure, that I've had to give in and get help. And why would I think it's bad to get help? Well, hmm, in this case, I need help with the pain, I ask for it, and I'm told no, it's bad for you to have too much. You're asking for too much help. You need to just get through it by yourself.

See how that messes with your head?

So I'm convinced that some people just get exhausted from constantly evaluating how weak they are while trying to keep their chins up at the same time. So they just start taking painkillers all the time, because it's so much easier to just get relief.

Am I whinging? I hope not. I'm just trying to get through this the best way I know how, which involves trying to understand what is going on as well as trying to honor all my feelings about it, most of which right now are grumpy. Sigh.

In the Sloppy Mist

2010-02-02T22:17:00.003-10:00

I just watched an extremely LAME-O movie and I would like to perform a public service by dis-recommending it with extreme prejudice. In the Electric Mist is the most boring "thriller" I have ever had the misfortune to watch.

I used to just love Tommy Lee Jones in anything, but I understand now that he can really only play one role, which leads me to believe that he's not so much acting as playing himself. He's absolutely spot-on for The Fugitive and U.S. Marshalls. And Men In Black, I guess, although I just think that's such a weird movie that it doesn't matter how he acts.

First of all, he can't do a cajun accent to save his career, and he sounds even more mumbly than usual trying. Really, he sounds bored. Which bores me. As opposed to thrilling me, which I would expect a "thriller" to do.

This movie goes too far trying to get southern Louisiana's slower-pace-of-life-then-them-Northern-colder-states atmosphere, to the point of making everyone lethargic and drunk all the time. "Dave," a most unlikely name for Tommy Lee, is an alcoholic, and so is everyone else around him, whether they go to AA meetings like Dave or just sit at the creekside fishing with a broken twig in one hand and a can o' Bud in the other.

Speaking of atmosphere, Dave creates some by being the overseeing narrator. A Southern police leiutenant in his fifties (I'm being generous here) poetically contemplating the larger meaning of it all. Yeah. Right. It could happen. And don't throw Faulkner at me. He wasn't a cop, he was a weird artist.

Oh, I should note, it's only the men who are alcoholics, not the women and children. The womenandchildren are one glob (save for the FBI agent built like a brick house, who should be whipping Dave's sorry ass for his interrogation methods but instead ends up following him around like a bewildered but obedient puppy). This story is really about the men, ok? And how violent they are. When lieutenant Dave goes looking for the information he wants from other men, he just bloodies them if he doesn't get it, and then he gets the information, which by the way, is boring. But the lesson is violence solves problems. Or maybe it's not a lesson, but just a plot point. Either way, it gets very boring. Conflict, then obstacle to solution, then violence to remove obstacle, then solution. Ho hum. Gee, here's another obstacle, I wonder what creative solution Dave will come up with! Oh, look, there's a lead pipe...

Did I mention how boring this movie was?

Tortured Artist? Pass.

2010-01-28T22:53:00.003-10:00

I just read a post on Make and Meaning about the Tortured Artist Myth, and how annoying it is when people expect artists to be tortured in order to be great. Of course, it's not a new discussion (thank God not everyone thinks of Hemingway's alcoholism as romantic. He would be on my list of Top 10 Famous People I'd Never Want to Meet or Hang Out With. But I digress), and yet I find my response to that mandate still evolving, my current migraine-tortured state notwithstanding.

I remember a moment at my thesis defense for my Masters in Writing during which my thesis adviser asked me if I was committed to continuing to write. I can't remember her exact words, but I don't think they were even formed as a question. She was almost giving me a scolding, telling me that I had a gift for writing, and therefore an obligation (to whom?) to use it--not to waste it, or let it fall by the wayside.

I look back on that moment now and I hate it. Why did she do that? What right did she have to tell me what my mission in life should be? I'm probably reading too much into her behest, but that's what it feels like, that she's still looking over my shoulder waiting for me to write that book of serious poetry, and shaking her head in disappointment that I'm wasting my time writing a blog and watching movies (note: Happy Go-Lucky, a great movie I just discovered about how being happy is not stupid). Of course, it doesn't help that I really admired her and that she had goddess standing with most of the people who knew her or were her students. Like many prophets, she often gave cryptic feedback. And so, to get this clear mandate from her that I better go out there and be a very serious artist or else--well, that was a bit overwhelming. I wonder, is this required of thesis advisers, the big talk that shall impress upon the student the momentousness of the masters degree?

Maybe she really was being mightily serious, or maybe it was my state of mind at the time. I had just lost Miranda, my first pregnancy after several years of trying. I was still in shock. I only asked for a couple of weeks extension to finish my thesis (a novel), which seems ridiculous looking back now.

A few months after graduating, I started writing what I thought I should be writing—a novel based on my tragic loss. I've written the opening about 20 times. Why do I quit after that? Because it's too depressing! See, here we go with the tortured artist thing. I'm a writer with oodles of talent and I've suffered a tragedy that I don't want to write about. Does this make me an irresponsible artist? That's what it feels like, that my thesis adviser is sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest, admonishing me for being a coward. My choices seem to be Happy Coward Artist or Depressed Courageous Artist. How's that for Let's Make a Deal, huh?

Well, here's the thing. I don't need any help being depressed. I have a history of depression. I have your garden variety depression, mostly controlled by medication, and I've had post-partum depression. I've been hospitalized before for depression. I have had depression long enough and have done enough self-education and therapy to recognize when I am sinking and need help. And trying to write that courageous novel makes me sink. I find myself at the edge of the ocean where I can either leap into the depths to find that character's pain and motivation and conflict, or, turn around and walk away on level ground. I choose not to leap in. I choose to be a different kind of artist. The not-tortured kind.

I did write a short essay about losing Miranda, from a sort of sideways perspective (about how learning to knit got me through some of the really rough times afterward). I was proud of what I wrote, but at the time I figured it wasn't that important, because it wasn't a full-on experience of the tragedy itself. Well, lo and behold, a publisher showed interest in the essay for a book. At first I agonized over trying to make it bigger, more tragic. My editor wisely advised against this, and the essay was subsequently published in a book called Knitting Yarns and Spinning Tales.

Some people assume that the best, most prolific time for a writer is when they are in great pain. Maybe it is for some artists. I don't know. Is Hemingway's unique writing style the result of being an alcoholic? What would he have written if he'd quit drinking? Maybe if I was willing to exacerbate my depression, then I could produce a great novel about loss. Maybe not. And even if we accept that tortured artists create great art, it's a logical fallacy to conclude that because tortured artists create great art, then non-tortured artists do not create great art. As Kirsty Hall points out in her Make and Meaning post, our culture is obsessively enamored of tragedy and spectacle. What great art are we missing by looking only for tortured art? Can we even recognize great art by non-tortured artists anymore, or are we blind to it unless it is spectacle?

I gotta go. I feel like a movie.

---
Response to Chris' comment:
Yes, I agree that writing can be great therapy at times. But that kind of writing is a completely different thing than writing for others to read, as you rightly point out.

And how many writers falsify their experiences in order to get on that stage precisely because they've been so influenced by this culture of spectacle? I'm thinking of writers like James Frey and his A Million Little Pieces, which is now described by Wikipedia as a "semi-fictional" memoir. "Semi-fiction"? Isn't that like sort of pregnant? We're willing to fudge the truth in order to make it a spectacle and get the attention that defines a great writer in this culture. Ugh.

No It's Not a Tumor

2010-01-24T00:14:00.002-10:00

Yeah, I survived the MRI and got the results back this week and it's not a tumor. Actually, they didn't find anything new, except that some of my spots (technical name: "areas of signal abnormality") from the previous MRI 3 years ago had actually gotten smaller. Well, good. And yet, I am not thrilled. Because of course, this leaves me with no explanation as to why I have had such awful headaches lately. I was doing really well in November, and then New Year's Day I started a steep downhill run.

So my neurologist wants me to go back to physical therapy. I'm just not thrilled about this. It's a lot of work, and often painful. I am shifting my thinking to accepting this migraine thing as a condition I have to work with and adapt to as best I can. And yet. I'm annoyed. I feel like I should be grateful that I can do something about it to make it a bit better. But the truth is, I'm angry and frustrated. It's not really a "why me?" feeling, but, well, maybe it's a stage of grief. For the death of my perfect health. Ok, not perfect, but way better. I want BM back, i.e., Before Migraine. But it ain't gonna happen.

It feels so complicated. I mean, when I look at my life Before Migraine, it was so different. There was no Lily. And yes, my headaches have been much worse since my pregnancy. But she was worth it, dammit. If that was a side effect of having Lily, there's no question in my mind that she's worth it. Maybe I should think of it that way, being grateful for Lily and living my gratitude by adapting to how it is now.

I just can't be cheerful about it all the time. Then I would be a big phony.

For more about how I am adapting to this condition, go to my Mommy Blog...

fabulous clock I made for Christmas

2010-01-20T17:26:00.004-10:00

I couldn't get pics of this earlier because our stooopid camera broke before Christmas, but my sis who I made this for graciously took pics of it for me and sent them to me. This was the most satisfying Christmas present I gave this (last) year. It was one of those projects where I sat down one evening before bed to start on it and then I got on a roll and finished the whole thing. I love how it turned out, and I love that all I knew when I started was that my sis wanted a clock and she wanted something blue. So I pulled out a clock that was big and hideous. It had gold trim around the face and a tacky silver face. The six-sided frame looked like dark wood paneling, complete with black stripes dividing indidual panels. Ugly!

I started by painting the whole thing with white gesso. It looked better already! Haha. Then I just pulled out a bunch of blue paints that I had. Some were cheap basic acrylic, some were spendy Jacquard. I put down one coat of blues, not uniformly, and then did the sort of speckling blob effect with different blues, making an effort not to make anything uniform. The older I get, the more I like things asymmetrical. I think it has something to do with life not being tidy, and how you realize as you get older that you can't fit life into neat little ordered boxes with equal amounts here and there. Anyway, I really liked how it looked, but I wanted something scrolly on it. So I took one of my scrolly rubber stamps and some blue ink, and did one stamp around each of the six sides close to the face, then I think I did a few more going outward that blended into the paint more.

I painted the face much more cleanly instead of blob-like (don't you love my made-up technical terms?) because I wanted a contrast with the outer frame. Then I had to decide what to do about the numbers. I am not into putting numbers on clock faces. But I wanted it to be somewhat functional. So I looked through my stamp collection and found some stamps that look like letters in some language, or maybe numbers. They seemed to go well with the scrolly stamps on the frame. Still, I wanted some kind of theme, even if it was very subtle. The abstractness of it all just wasn't enough by itself. I pulled out my own carved stamps and looked at the clock some more. Hmmmm. Blue is the sea. And the face has sweeping strokes, kind of like waves. Did I have anything sea-like? YES! I have a seahorse stamp I made that I absolutely love. So I decided to put him at 6 o'clock. So he's under the waves. And then, I realized, I was done. I hadn't been sure if I was going to stamp all 12 numbers, but after doing the four, I realized it would look better with only those four. It looked more like an ancient compass, I realized, with just four numbers. Even more nautical! But not in a sailor-suit way. Perfect!

Don't you love it? My sister loved it, which makes me very happy. There is nothing more satisfying than making something for someone who really appreciates it.

some art

2010-01-11T18:37:00.004-10:00

Here's a group of zentangles I'm working on. I wanted to do something for Fall, but when I tried before to actually make a picture not so abstract, I hated it. So this time I just went for the fall colors and did abstract shapes still. I can't draw anything real tiny right now, as I can't see it!

That's Lily's head above the drawing pad. She's laying on the couch near me. Cutie.

MRI Looms

2010-01-11T15:19:00.003-10:00

Well, my Meetup group is now official, and info was automatically emailed to 15 people already who were interested when a Meetup came into existence about migraine support. I was hoping to see a few members but no one yet. Of course, it's only been 2 days since it went public. I'm not like, impatient or anything.

Meanwhile, I had a horrid week last week with my headaches and sudden vision changes. Today I finally got what I wanted: my neurologist to schedule another MRI, as I haven't had one in almost three years and this sudden vision change is alarming.

The MRI is on Thursday, and now that I'm finally going to get it (I've been talking about how I think I should get one for at least a month now to my husband), I'm nervous. Driving to my clinic today to get a new prescription for painkillers, I actually started thinking to myself, What if they find my brain riddled with tumors and I only have six months to live? Yeah, way to think positive. I don't know, maybe it's a twisted way to think positive. Because then I started thinking of all the fun stuff I'd immediately want to do: take Lily to Disneyworld. Go hiking in the Arches National Park in Utah (one of my favorite places that J. and I went on vacation to when we lived in Utah. Can you say majestic?). But I didn't get very far on this thought train, because my toddler in the back seat started singing a song she made up and she was requesting that I sing with her. Way to bring me back to the present moment, honey. Thank God for this kid.

Anyway, cross your fingers for me with the MRI. Hopefully they find nothing. Well, other than that my brain is still there.

My Own Support Group

2010-01-06T17:53:00.003-10:00

All right, I did it. I started a Meetup group. Dammit. I know it is going to take some work being the organizer, but I feel like it's worth it. I need it! It's called Twin Cities Migraineurs, because, in case you aren't in the know, a person who suffers from migraines is called a Migraineur. Isn't that darling? It's like the gourmet version of headaches. As in, I don't get your run-of-the-mill fast food headaches. No, I am a connoisseur of fine headaches.

Did I mention I had an infusion yesterday? And it didn't work. And so I call my doc today, and what do they offer me? Another infusion. Um, why? Would I want to? Do it again? When it didn't work the first time? No, thank you. So I still have a headache.

Good night Gracie.

2010-01-05T20:02:00.003-10:00

Oh brother. I was just searching on the internet for info on any supports groups in my area for migraine sufferers and through a few links, I got to this disturbing site. I mean, it's annoying because it has nothing to do with migraines and I don't know why the heck this person linked to it, but it's also just weird. It's a blog done by a woman who seems to mean very well, and is a motivational speaker, I guess you could say. Or a motivational blogger? I suppose there are blogs in that category now. Looks like she sells her own motivational merchandise as well. Anyhoo, Flylady wants you to take baby steps in getting control over your life. Watch the Shiny Sink video. It's icky, creepy. A shiny sink is not my idea of happiness. In fact, as my life has gotten busier, a shiny sink has gone down on the priority list. Anyway, if you're too freaked to watch the whole thing, I'll tell you the ending: "A good dinner is easy when you have a shiny sink!" Oh goody.

Anyway, I'm still seaching for a support group and I'm even thinking if I can't find one I'll run one myself, darnit. I'm sick of this crap and going through it relatively alone. There has to be a way to unite, even if we can't conquer.

Maybe this is my second New Year's goal, after reading more books. I have to wait a week or two to start working on that one, tho, as I'm waiting for new specs. I knew I was having problems with my vision but the last couple months it's been getting really bad and triggering migraines. When I went to the DMV to renew my license I almost didn't pass the eye test! That was enough for me to get on the phone and get to the eye doctor. I'm freaked out, tho, worrying that something worse is going on in my brain with these darn headaches. Grrrrr.

Winter: Time to Read

2009-12-31T02:40:00.002-10:00

At least, that's my hope. I always want to snuggle down in a blanket and read at this time of year. My memories of childhood Christmases (after the little-kid toy Christmases) are of everyone getting new books, and all of us in the family sitting around the house reading in quiet solitude. It didn't really matter if I was living in Arizona (not very cold) or California (not cold at all), I loved the long series of days with no obligations, being able to read for hours non-stop.

Of course, most of this time period I'm talking about was when I was in school or college, which meant part of my calendar was designated as vacation. My job of being a student was suspended while I enjoyed no structure in my days, no homework, etc.

Today I have a toddler, from which there is no vacation. I keep trying to remember to instigate a "reading time" during the day, but we're just not people that do the same thing every day, much less at the same time every day. So maybe it will have to be occasional. But toddler needs to learn how to let Mommy read while she plays with toys or looks at her own books. She's at the age where she's just starting to play by herself sometimes, so maybe reading time for me is in sight. I hope so. There are so many books I want to read! And now there just keep being more all the time!

I've been looking at different reading lists on NPR and found a few I think I'll like. In one browser window I'm looking at the book list and reading the descriptions, and in another browser window I'm reserving books at my local library. And in another window I'm putting books on my wish list on Paperback Swap. And did I mention it's 6am? Everyone else is asleep, that's why I can successfully do this multi-tasking stuff.

So here's one of the lists I like, by Nancy Pearl, the famous librarian who has a librarian action figure modeled on her. She calls her list Under-the-Radar Books.

I'm Not Crazy (Again)

2009-12-23T23:05:00.004-10:00

Really, I'm not! It's amazing how many times I have to rediscover this truth. I love the craft community. I was just reading this great article on Make and Meaning about the creative process, and it is so affirming that I feel a sudden burst of happiness and that calm you get when you feel like you're not weird, you're you, and all is right with the world. Ah.

I've read so many foofy blah blah articles and books about the creative process that don't really describe exactly what happens, but have this pie-in-the-sky language that I just can't relate to, which just makes me feel weird, and then here is this one with kooky descriptions that I totally GET. I really don't know how the writer did it, figured out how to express it, but it's fabulous. I feel a kindred spirit, and affirmation.

There's an overused, messed up word: affirmation. Remember the craze for affirmation books? I have several of them. For the inner child, the women who do too much, etc. And gosh darnit, people like me (Stuart Smalley reference--who is now our senator). Well, this noodling playful expression that comes from specific personal experience is exactly the kind of affirmation that works for me.

What affirms you and your creative process?

Busy Busy Busy

2009-12-10T21:21:00.003-10:00

Just a quick update: my first craft fair, the Green Gifts Fair, went fabulously. I made over $100! That probably sounds like small potatoes to most of you craft fair experts. But I'm happy. And we had so many compliments from other vendors on our table, that it was "colorful and playful."

So in two days I have the Women's Art Festival and I'm sure it will be fun, esp. with my buddy Sue there again. But I just kinda want to get it over with so I can focus more on my family's Christmas. I have some Christmas shopping done, but I need to figure out the whole picture.

I've been sad lately because I miss my folks and sisters out in Seattle. I just saw them in September but it went by too fast.

I've decided to make my Mommy Blog public so everyone can read it. And I'm really going to try to update it more often (I haven't since April). I need it, it's like a journal and it helps me figure out where I am in the world.

Go Read This!

2009-12-10T21:18:00.002-10:00

Hey! I just found this fun new craft blog that I immediately made my home page: Make & Meaning. Diane from CraftyPod is one of the founders, and it just looks delicious, like the newspaper I want to sit and read on a Sunday afternoon with a cuppa.

Zentangle Time!

2009-11-13T20:33:00.003-10:00

Here's one I did for a swap-bot swap. I'm trying to do fewer elements than I have in the past, that is, not cram everything but the kitchen sink into the space required. Like use some white space, and use only a few different patterns and repeat them. I really like the result, and I am planning to do a set with even fewer of these same elements. I'm in a swap for Fall-themed zentangles and I like the little trees with a few leaves on them for that theme. But even fewer leaves. And the dot-line pattern inside the long ribbon that cuts across the middle remind me of rain. It's hard to draw rain! So it's a happy accident that I drew something that turns out to look like rain.

On Time and Ready To Write Poetry?

2009-11-13T11:40:00.004-10:00

So I'm off night owl hours, I got back into sleeping at night and waking during the day. I feel a lot better, but I miss being up late and the quiet! I'm at the last week of pain meds for this screwy month, so I think I'll make it without having to resort to the infusion clinic, which basically kills off a whole day for me, and that's if it works right.

The Green Gifts Fair is coming up in one week and I think I'm ready. Just a few things left I HAVE to do, and then of course I want to make more stuff. I'm toying with the idea of doing Instant Haiku at the fair. I don't know, I think I could do it, I just need to bring a few word books. I think it would be fun but I don't know if anyone would be into it. I was thinking I'd prep some playing cards or something ATC-sized ahead of time to use to write the haikus on. And here's what I came up with for a sign:

Auntie Ben's Haiku! done in 10 minutes or less

magnet, pin, or ornament
personalized
choice of style: heartwarming or funny
winter blue or Christmas green
$3 for 3 lines

What do you think? Would you go for it? Here's a haiku I wrote recently about my daughter:

Doughnuts, singing, church
bells ringing, Lily touching
hands, angel voice: "peace."

Recipe Swap Cards I Made

2009-11-13T11:26:00.003-10:00

I've never done a recipe swap before but I thought it would be a fun change. I guess I only had to do one recipe but I did a whole meal, at least what I consider a whole meal: appetizer, entree, dessert. I really like how they came out. I would love to get a commission to make some for someone for a special occasion, like a wedding menu.

Better and Worse

2009-11-05T19:28:00.004-10:00

Hi, I am busy making stuff for those fairs I'm doing in November and December. Cripes, it's November already! I love fall (that's why I now have yet another background, from HotDiggityBlog) but it is going by so fast! It's too cold to go play outside. At least for me it is. If it was in the 50's, ok, but the low 40's? Not so much.

I am trying to get back on a normal schedule, that is, not staying up all night, so I can a)stop eating late at night and gaining more weight, b)have less headaches, and c)be awake for Lily during the day.

It's hard, I like being a night owl and I've always been one. I love the quiet of late-night, and I can focus better on doing my art. I also like the privacy of late-night. No phone calls, no interruptions, no f-ing leaf blowers (that doofus next door has a super noisy one this year and I want to kill him. I think I'm justified, esp. when he illegally blows the leaves into the street!! What an ultramaroon), no Jehovas Witnesses at the door, just me.

And the TV, sometimes. Part of the problem. I'll get hooked on some old movie and just watch the whole thing until 3 in the morning. Sigh. I can't do this anymore for reasons stated above. Part of being a responsible parent, I guess. And I'm not in my 20's anymore, I can't stay up all night and not suffer for it.

Since I've been taking the latest preventive medication for my migraines, they've been better. Not as intense, they go away with less medication, and last month I didn't have to ration my pain pills at the end of the month. I was able to go 5 weeks instead of 4 on my monthly allottment! If you don't get migraines you'll think that's just such a pathetic little victory. But a lot of you out there will understand perfectly my huge feeling of victory.

But I kind of screwed up this month because I pushed the envelope precisely because I felt better with the new pills. I suddenly felt some freedom! I feel so many limitations as it is because of the migraine thing...it's a good thing we live in a no-smoking state because we'd really never get to go out to eat if smoking was still allowed in restaurants here. I just can't even consider a smoking area, it's like instant headache, just add crabbiness. I can't be out in the sun too long or I'll get a headache. And the list goes on. So no wonder I went a little crazy when I suddenly felt better! But I'm paying for it now. I am already rationing the pain pills after a terrible week and I don't know if I'll make it. Darnit. So I have to forgive myself for that and move on. Next month will be better.

Another Mad Skill

2009-10-26T21:34:00.002-09:00

Hey! Like my neato Halloweenie background? I got it from this fun lil' site called Blog-ology. My first experience with skins! It's such a freaky word that I have never used them before, but I stumbled on this by accident and learned how to change my background on my blog. Wheeeeee!

Boo Yah!

2009-10-26T21:08:00.005-09:00

the front: bat cookie doughboy
the back: painted and stenciled

I made this silly postcard for my bud Chris at Prism Trail, because I knew she would love it, and cuz this box of bat cookies that I got at the store just cried out to me to upcycle it and send it out as mail. Isn't it silly cute? Sorry about the scribbled out address. I only have Microsoft Paint on this computer so I couldn't do a nice blur like they do to the perps on those Cops shows. But I still didn't want you stalking Chris. Okay, not YOU. But yeah, you, in the back. Chill out, will ya?

More Pics from Stairway to Heaven workshop

2009-10-25T06:06:00.004-09:00

Michelle 'n' Me

The assembled triptych

The fabled stairway

More of my pages

The first half of the first day we just painted blank pages, and I can't tell you how fun that was. Not just learning new paint techniques, but also spending several hours painting and doing nothing else. No interruptions. And no big choices. Because I had only picked about five colors of paint to bring with me, I stuck to that palette and didn't have to stop and make more decisions about it. That made it more fun, to have a limited palette. And to have Michelle telling us "Just paint! Don't think too hard about it. Just paint!" was great reinforcement. Part of the joy of this workshop was what Michelle described as "making an appointment with creativity." It sounds cheesy but it's really true. It's a big committment to set aside money and time for two whole days to make art. And it's a good feeling. I enjoyed my appointment so much that I'm sold on taking a workshop at least once a year to feed my creativity. I used to look at all the workshops out there and convince myself that I could do it all at home, but now I see first-hand the value of making that committment and getting away to do it.

Workspace as Art

2009-10-25T06:05:00.002-09:00

Yes, I saved these papers.

Michelle Ward Workshop at Valley Ridge Art Studio

2009-10-25T05:45:00.002-09:00

This is a picture of stuff I was making at the Stairway to Heaven workshop that Michelle Ward taught a few weeks ago at Valley Ridge Art Studio. I like the jumble of parts and the colors. The workshop as a whole was wonderful. Michelle is an experienced teacher and very smart about knowing what things to focus on getting DONE during the workshop in order for the student to feel accomplished. I didn't expect to have a finished product when I left, so I wasn't stressing about that, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much progress I made and how I could actually see the progress. We made a triptych book and Michelle made sure we assembled it before we left. I can still take it apart again and rearrange it if I want, but assembling it and seeing it all come together really made me feel good. I also learned a lot of techniques hands-on that it just wouldn't have worked to read about. For insance, I really didn't get how to do dry brush painting and now I get it and really like what I can do with it. She also had tips on how to make the most of your tools (using them in more than one way) and that was very helpful. She's very old school, so not into buying fancy newfangled products when you can do just as well with old supplies, and I like that. She's very approachable as well, and funny. So if you're ever considering taking a class from Michelle, I highly recommend her as an instructor and a fun artist to hang out with for two days.

Jack O' Lanterns

2009-10-25T05:40:00.002-09:00

Last weekend we got a bunch of pumpkins at our local nursery, and then we carved two of them. They're molding now but here's when they were first carved. I did the dog face one and I was thrilled with how it turned out. I just looked at a picture online and decided I could do it, then drew it freehand and carved it. Amazing what you can do when you have a little confidence. I haven't carved pumpkins in years but made a point of it this year because I knew my daughter would enjoy it, and it was really fun.

Get Your Art in a Traveling Library!

2009-10-22T09:39:00.005-09:00

The Sketchbook Project. Because I don't have enough projects. NOT! No, but this looks too fun to pass up. My buddy Chris at Prism Trail told me about it, and I love the idea of having a book I filled up with art traveling around the world on exhibition for people to see. Same reason I want to do Art-O-Mat, so I can have the satisfaction of knowing people all over the place are enjoying my art.

And This, Too!

2009-10-18T20:26:00.002-09:00

I'm also on a link list for the vendors in the Green Gifts Fair on November 21st, put on by Do It Green Minnesota. If you scroll down about halfway on the Fair page, you'll see a list of vendor links, and I'm on there: Alterior Motives and Suzala's Sparklies. Suz is my art buddy and we're doing both of these fairs together. Should be fun. I think the Green Fair will probably be more affordable, but then I could be wrong. We'll see. I think I'll probably get fun ideas for more stuff to make!

I about ran myself into the ground in May when I did my first art fair, and I'm not going to do that this time. I still have most of my product left from then, since I did crap in sales, so I've already got a lot. I just need to make a bit more to focus on the green thing for that fair, like use thrift store fabrics to make zippies and coasters. But I'm not going to neglect myself or Lily to get ready for these fairs, I've got to be able to enjoy them. I'm not in this to make money, anyhow, I'm in it to have fun. If I make money, it's a bonus. I have that luxury.

Thank God these fairs are both indoors. I may never do an outdoor one again, it was so awful. The first day was hurricane force winds. Ok, perhaps I exaggerate a tad, but they were 35 mph gusts, all day. And cold! It was literally painful. So I'm happy to be indoors with heat and light and no wind!

I also applied to be in the No Coast Craftorama but we didn't get in. I'm not crushed. I'm glad I applied, and I'll try again next year. It's a hard one to get into, and I just started doing this. No Coast is even listed in craft books now as a major craft show nationally. So I don't feel bad.

I'm in a Gallery!

2009-10-18T19:50:00.002-09:00

Okay, it's a slide show, but still! I'm excited. See, isn't it cool (mine are the ones labeled Carrie Mercer)? It's for an art fair I'm going to be in on December 12th. They used the 3 photos that I sent of my work and I'm really excited to be in such talented company, the other stuff looks fab. I'll probably end up spending more money than I make. ha! Just kidding, honey (if hubby is reading this). So if you're in Minnesota, mark your calendars for the Women's Art Festival on December 12th!! Come see me!

Good News?

2009-10-18T19:18:00.002-09:00

I just joined this swap on Swap-bot that I think is worth spreading the word about, because I think it's a really great idea. It's called "Good News from Newspapers" and it requires you to collect stories from your paper and/or other papers that are good news stories. You have several months to do it, and you put them in a journal and send it to your partner.

Obviously it would be nice to have a whole journal full of good news stories to read. I'm planning to make two journals so I can keep one. But what fascinates me is that I think it gets more complicated--What is good news? I mean, what would you look for? I'm looking in the local section. So far I've found a story about a humble man who lived frugally and left 3 million dollars to charity. And the other one is a dog story. Ok, that's easy, I mean, any dog story is going to be good news to me. But really, what are people going to look for? I see stories about politics and my eyes glaze over. I could care less. I mean, of course I care. But I don't find that happy reading. And the economy? Boring. But what if there was a story about a new grant for local artists? That would be good news to me but would anyone not living here give a rip? So it's tricky. But I think it's worth a shot, just to see what happens. I wish more people would join the swap, so far there's only 9.

Some Halloween Stuff

2009-10-11T17:26:00.002-09:00

I love Halloween. My favorite holiday. It's hard to decide between Halloween and Christmas. Anyhoo, here's a couple Halloween-themed thingamajigs I've made in the last week. The top one is a robot exchange I did with my local artsters today at our monthly meeting. Mine is the bigger paper doll one, the sort of Pumpkin Scissorhands Robot. Then the bottom pic is of an ATC I made for a Halloween Zetti swap on Swap-bot. I made a few extra to trade. I call him Cranky Zetti Frankie.

2009-09-29T18:51:00.004-09:00

It's my birthday! It's my birthday! Yeah yeah yeah! I already celebrated with my family last week but today I celebrated first by myself by going out to some of my favorite places, and then with my hubby and toddler by having dinner and cake. GF cake at that!! Betty Crocker makes gluten-free cake mix now, did you know that? It's yummy, I'm a witness.

So I went first to the new storefront for I Like You, which is fabulous, I was in there over an hour looking at stuff. I bought some fun hair barrettes for myself, one set with big fabric buttons and one set with Japanese folded fabric flowers. And I walked around looking at things and getting ideas of stuff I want to try to make. One idea is a felt collage. Someone had done a bunch of framed collages of different scenes, using all felt. They were appropriate for kids' bedrooms, although I would put one up anywhere because I have the heart of a kid. So one was trees in a meadow, a couple were sheep in a meadow, and I forget what else. They were somewhat crude in detail, if you know what I mean, and that's what I liked about them. There really has to be a better word than crude to describe a childlike style. But I can't think of one. Anyway. Another thing I liked was a dice necklace. The artist simply put a small screw hook into the dice and voila, necklace pendant! I have a ton of dice so that might be fun to do.

Okay, so that was the first place I went. Next was MCBA at Open Book. They had a gallery show I hadn't seen yet that was all about mail art and self-published art and it was really neato. And they had part of the "None of the Above" exhibit up, which reminded me that I still have time to join in on the fun for this great assemblage. I just need to go to a print shop. So I wandered around the exhibit, and then spent a long time in their gift shop picking out a few things. What I ended up getting: a few fine line black pens for my doodling/drawing; some needles on a stick for bookbinding, several different colors of waxed linen thread for bookbinding, and a "BIY" kit for a different kind of bookbinding than I've done before (that would anything else besides pamphlet stitch).

And last, I went to Big Brain Comics ( I know, that's a really lame link). I slipped in five minutes before closing time so I tried to hurry, and even then I got a 3-issue series of The Muppet Show comics and an anthology of weird fiction that includes pieces from Neil Gaiman, Lemony Snickett, and I forget who else. I also grabbed a couple promotional posters for the movie 9, which I really want to see but haven't had the chance to yet.

There was a book at the MCBA shop that I didn't buy but I want, it's called Re-Bound and it looks really fun. Anybody out there have it yet?

Hooray!

2009-09-18T19:50:00.002-09:00

Huzzah! Mr. Rogers has enough to finish his film! Good Neighbors!

I'm also happy because I'm on vacation. Yippee! Seeing my family and spending time playing with Lily and bringing her new places. Tomorrow we're going to the zoo. Then Sunday we're going to the aquarium. Or the playground. We'll see. And I have oodles of art stuff with me to read and enjoy. I went to Borders last week and uh... saved so much money! Yeah, I saved like $16 and spent $100. That worked out well for them. But I got fun stuff!

I got the first issue of a new magazine from Stampington, Art Quilting Studio. And a book called Good Mail Day, about making mail art. I haven't read the new magazine yet but it looks yummy. I've read most of the book and it's really fun. Although it doesn't have any technique ideas that I don't know about, I really enjoy the way it's presented. It's not overwhelming with complicated designs, and the authors are really skilled at motivating you to get going making art without thinking about it too hard, and focus on having fun. I put together a mail art kit with suggestions from the book, and I'm going to try to make some mail art postcards while I'm on vacation. I'm not used to just working with a few tools, so I think it should be fun. It'll definitely be a stark contrast to the Valley Ridge Art Studio class I'm taking in a few weeks. My God, the supplies list is as long as my arm! Good thing I'm not flying there, I'd have to pay extra for another bag with my supplies in it.

OMG, I couldn't believe that I had to pay $15 for my ONE checked bag on the airplane today! Jeez! It's not enough to gouge me for the ticket. But I have to say, we flew Alaska Airlines instead of the usual Northwest, and it was soooooo much nicer than Northwest. The seats were more comfortable, there was more leg room, and the bathrooms even had full doors. Like, not foldy camper play doors. I hate those.

The sun was out when we flew in and so Lily got to look out and see the mountains and trees and then the people and buldings geting bigger as we came in for a landing. The landing was a little bouncy for my taste, but the captain was fun, he actually got on the horn several times during the flight and talked about what we were flying over. I didn't know anybody did that anymore. I liked it because it made me think about the pilot as a real person, that he must be a pilot because he really loves looking out that big window in the front of the plane and seeing the beautiful landscape below him. He obviously enjoys his job and sharing his love of the landscape with all the passengers. I like that. You get some pilots who are like, don't make me talk to the people on the other side of my little door. They sound like their boss forced them to get on the intercom and at least say hello. Say hello to the nice people. Who paid extra for their frackin' luggage.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-09-05T16:36:00.004-09:00

Starting now (BING!), this is my favorite time of year. There's my birthday this month, and fall, which is my favorite season. I love it when the leaves turn. And this weekend we went to the Minnesota State Fair, my favorite Minnesota event of the year. Our toddler is old enough now to enjoy it and she had a great time petting animals and going on rides and all sorts of stuff. It was fun to focus on making it a good time for her.

OOh, and there's Halloween and Day of the Dead and--oh wait, before that there's my vacation to go see my family and then in early October I'm going to Valley Ridge Art Studio to take a class from Michelle Ward. The supply list is as long as my arm and it's a bit spendy, but I'm sort of glad we were pressed into making a decision about making it a vacation weekend when I forgot to cancel it. We need more vacation. We're going to stay at this place called Life O' Riley, an old farmhouse and we'll stay in what used to be a schoolhouse.

And then there's Christmas, and I've already been stockpiling gifts for my tot. It's too fun to buy toys, I tell you. And now Woot has Kids Woot! I've already bought about five things from them, including a train set, which I can hardly wait to play with. She loves trains. And cars. That's my girl, no Barbies.

Ah, it's good. And my new meds for migraines seem to actually be helping. I didn't have to take pain pills this weekend, the first weekend in months I haven't had to do that. And I got to go to church with J. and L., which I've missed so much this summer--mass is my calming happy place, at least at our church. And they even sang one of my favorite hymns, There Is A Balm In Gilead , which always reminds me of this wonderful movie we saw eons ago at the Sundance Film Festival, with Ashley Judd in it. I can't find it now in any movie database, but I remember it had something about "at the xx cafe" in the title. And when I say she sings, it's not like it's a musical. It's just this scene where she's outside walking and thinking and not even facing the camera, and she just starts humming and singing this hymn. She doesn't even know all the words. It's very realistic, and sweet. And I guess it reminds me of myself, because I love to sing, and I don't know all the words.

The first film I ever saw Ashley Judd in was Ruby in Paradise (1993), which inspired me to start writing a zine and really get out there as a writer. Ruby won a Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival (we saw it there) and this other film was the second film I saw her in and I think it also won some audience prize. I'm not making this up. Anyway, her characters in the two films are very similar, extremely vulnerable and trying so hard to pick up the pieces of her life and start over. At the time I saw them I was doing the same thing, trying to start a new life, and it was hard. I was trying to get a divorce from a crazy person who I was also trying to hide from, I was alienated from my family, and I'd just moved out of state away from everyone I knew to follow a sweet man I'd unexpectedly fallen in love with. That was almost 20 years ago. And I think of that singing so often now.

I married the sweet man and now we have a sweet baby and a good life. Some balm has made the wounded whole. I feel brave again. Today I applied to be in two art shows. They're unjuried, so I know Im in, but it still feels like a big accomplishment that I got it done, all the paperwork and photos and fees. Okay, then! Something to talk about tomorrow, the art fairs I'll be in this fall. Now I gotta go to bed.

Oh, and look at Mr. Rogers! He might just make it, the last I checked, he was 81% funded! Hooray for Mr. Rogers' good neighbors, way to go, people!