Twin Cities Zinefest -- Me Going!!

Yes!  I'm finally going to be here at the right time and got in on this early enough that I'll be tabling at Twin Cities Zinefest this year!!  This makes me very happy.  This will only be my second zinefest, too.  I'm such a virgin with the fests, even though I've been writing zines since the nineties. 

I'll have at least six zines to sell, which makes me very happy as well.  I'm trying to finish several before then so I have lots of new ones to show.  Doris distro is now carrying my zine The Migraineur, which I think is great, because she is very selective about finding zines about women's health, both mental and physical, and so I'm hoping more migraineurs will find my zine there.

Okay, I'm tired now because I got up at the crack of butt because I'm sleeping in my own bed again, as opposed to the couch which was my bed for more than a year when my migraines got daily and really bad, so I'm not used to the bed and sleeping with my husband again, so I wake up early with a sore back.  Now I'm tired and I gotta go back to bed.

More late on the zinefest, but I hope to see you there!!  September 22nd, mark your calendars, one week before my birthday!!  I have to figure out something fun to do on my birthday, too, any suggestions?  No, not skydiving.

Still Kickin'

Hi Everyone, or all 3 of my remaining readers.  I know, I checked out there for a long time.  Well, my laptop was on the fritz for almost six months, so I had no computer to do blogs on and could barely keep up with my email at the library.  Cripes!  I know, whine, whine.

Well, I got my laptop back last week and I'm in a frenzy of writing.  I hope to keep this blog updated again but I'm not making any promises.  I am just not the kind of person that can be on a scheduled routine and keep to it all the time. 

Anyway, life has gotten better.  I miss my Dad a lot, but I don't feel so blah about doing things anymore.  It was like it just wore me out, losing him.  So I didn't want to do a lot.  So I didn't.  Well, it's been a year.  My Mom is doing ok but I sure wish I was closer so I could go visit her more.  And my daughter wants to go visit her more as well, which breaks my heart because we can't afford to go but once, maybe twice a year.  So I look forward to Christmas, when we're planning to go next.  We had Christmas there last year and it was really wonderful.

Summer's almost over and I had a great time.  My headaches are under control enough that I can actually make plans and keep them most of the time, which is a big change from last year.  We went camping twice and did a day trip to a cave in Wisconsin and I'm writing a zine about it called something like What I Did This Summer.  I even went swimming in the lake a few times, which I don't do much because the sun can give me a headache really easily.  But I did okay!  And had fun!  I haven't had so much in years.  I do wish we could go to the ocean for a vacation, but that's a bit far.  Still, my kid knows all about tides and sea creatures and I want so much for her to experience the huge difference between lake and ocean.

Not a good week

Ok, so I need to vent.  Right now I have a yeast infection and my period.  A constant headache that I always get when I have my period.  A mood swing like I've not had in months, even when Dad died.  Right now I'm crying because I really miss him and because of my damn frackin' hormones.  I'm rattled and frazzled and this is the first time since I got off the narcotics in June that I've wanted to be a zombie again on them. 

My life is soooo much better off the narcotics, and I'm having less frequent and less painful headaches, blah blah blah, but right now I'm so crabby and feel so crappy that I woudln't mind being a zombie again on those damn pills.

I hate that feeling. 

And today's my anniversary and I forgot.  And he didn't.  A card was waiting by my bedside when I got up.  How could I forget that?  What a heel I am. 

Am I abnormal to be looking forward to menopause?  These hormones are nothing but trouble, I swear.  And I don't want any more babies anyway, because I now have the perfect child.  And I was a bad mother today because when she got to school she was cold, so I obviously didn't dress her warmly enough.

As far as art goes, right now it's ppllllbbbbtttt!!  No go, Houston, we are no go.  I got nothin'.  Since Dad died, I just haven't felt like it.  I owe a mini zine for a swap on Swap-bot and I'm a month late now, at least.

I have felt like doing crafting, sewing, tho.  I'm almost done with a quilt I'm making for a friend who's had a bitch of a time with a custody battle in an ugly divorce.  She just got her house and her kid back, and the psycho bastard that was her husband took all the blankets, among other things (all the silverware?!  Who does that?).  So this is a sort of housewarming and heartwarming gift.  And it's been very rewarding and healing for me to work on. 

I started working on a new afghan after Dad died, and I'll probably go back to that soon, although now it's time to start making Christmas presents.  Which does make me happy to think about.  It's just this week, I have to get through it and I'll be much better. 

Here's my crochet squares that I did while at my Mom's after Dad died.  Aren't they happy?  If you have a favorite crochet squares book, tell me, because I can't get enough of them.

Well, I guess that's it for now.  I have a bodymind wellness group that I go to tonight, Thank God. 



A Week Away

It's getting better.  And harder.  I'm with my Mom now and will be here another week and a half or so.  It's so good to be here with her, and be able to go in and out of talking about missing him.  We talk, and it makes it more real and it's a little easier to accept.  But it's still hard to believe. 

He's been gone a week now, and I can't really pretend he's out the store anymore.  I mean, that's what it felt like at first, like, "Where's Dad?" and the answer could be, "Oh, he's out in the garage," or "Oh, he's out at the store and will be back in a couple hours."  It's getting harder for my unconscious to pretend that.

Not enough people have sent flowers, and that pisses us off.  When I say us, I mean me and my younger sister.  Dad was beloved by a lot of people, in the family and in this community.  Some of them have stopped by and been very sweet, and I guess I have to focus on that. 

One man I called started crying on the phone when I told him.  It broke my heart, but it also warmed my heart to hear how much Dad had meant to this friend.

I guess I'm not in shock anymore, and it's starting to sink in that he's not coming back.  I'm glad he's not in pain anymore. 

Thanks to the peeps who left me comforting comments, I reallly appreciate it.  People react weirdly to death.  Someone who I thought I was close to didn't even call, but sent an impersonal card, which really hurt.  But other people know just what you need and are very thoughtful, and I'm grateful for those people. 

My Dad Died Today

I can't even fathom it.  He wasn't in great health, but this was sudden.  He'd been admitted to the hospital yesterday and then last night he had some kind of heart attack that got him airlifted from Port Angeles, WA to Seattle.  He had an irregular heartbeat on arrival.  They performed CPR for 45 minutes and couldn't revive him.

And I'm 2000 miles away.  I want to hug my Mom.  I just can't fathom it.

Another Postcrossing Postcard

I like it.  So did the recipient. I think it might have even gotten favorited.  Now there's a word I don't mind seeing transformed from a noun into a verb--favorite.  But "friended" annoys me, and "unfriended" is just so brutal.

New Zines!

Yes, I have TWO new zines!  Firstly, there's my new migraine zine, a long time coming. 

I've been working on it off and on for about 8 months.  It's all about my fun having migraines!  (I got the cover picture from an old kids' chemistry book) Whee!  Actually, it sucks having migraines, and I was trying to do something constructive in creating this zine.  It's more entertaining than you would expect, really!  Several friends who get migraines have told me they really liked it.  You can read more about it and buy it through  my Etsy shop, or if you have a zine you'd like to trade, email me directly.

My other zine is a mini-zine that I just created in the last couple of weeks for a Swap-bot swap.  I thought it turned out great, so I'm making more and selling it. Here's a picture of it in process:

This was my work area Easter night, after everyone else had gone to bed.  You can see the collage I started with, and my mock-up next to it.  And all my fun supplies.  No PEZ was used in the making of this zine, sorry. My daughter just happened to leave those there when she went to bed (she got a bunny PEZ in her Easter basket, and then she went and found the Santa PEZ from Christmas so they could be friends).

This is my first mini-zine.  I have been meaning to try one for a long time, and then I got a sheet with instructions on how to make a one-sheet zine as part of a trade at Artfest, and I immediately started fiddling with paper to see how it worked.

  Then I did a collage for background before I ever knew what I was going to put in the zine.  Then I was looking for something else, and flipping through photo albums from our vacations...and saw some funny pics of me with roadside attractions and cartoon characters at amusement parks, and an idea formed! 

 I also happened across a poem I had published, and decided I'd include a couple of my favorite short poems. And viola!

The finished minis.

Here's a peek at the inside, and you can see I packed a lot in there.  You can see more and buy it in my Etsy shop, or think of something handmade you'd like to trade, like another mini-zine or a chunky ATC or something.  I love trades!

What I Made Today

I made this postcard for my latest Postcrossing recipient.  It's collage, stamping, and doodling.

Here's the back.  I really had fun with the doodles.  I stated Traci Bautista's online class Creative Doodles last night, and my doodles were very much like this in my first lesson.