Monday, April 24, 2006

Dentistry is Evil

I had to go to the dentist this morning. God I hate going to the dentist. Probably something to do with trauma from that frackin' orthodontist I had as a child who was always accidentally fondling my breasts when he was working on me. He's probably dead now, which is some comfort. And I hope he's burning on a little hellspit. Anyway, I have a really nice dentist now, but it still nerves me. I feel like Alice in Dilbert...must control...fist...of...death. I want to grab the hygeinist and throw her across the room when she--well, when she does just about anything. She sticks the pointy thing in all my gums. She scrapes metal across my teeth and wipes the crap she finds on my teeth onto my bib. She turns on that whirry thing that isn't a drill but it doesn't matter because it sounds like a frackin' drill and it vibrates against my teeth. Anything that makes your teeth vibrate is, well, unsettling to say the least. And I hate the way my teeth feel after they've been detailed like an expensive car. Gawd I hate it. I can't imagine working there. I can't imagine a job more unpleasant than dental hygeinist. Even working as a receptionist in a dentist's office would make me come unglued. That sound! That evil drill sound! Oh, the humanity!

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