Sunday, October 31, 2010

DoD part Deux

Okay, so now we're at the scene in Dawn of the Dead where they just figured it out that if you get bit, you turn into a zombie.  Duh!  Haven't any of them seen zombie movies before?  "What are they?" someone asks. It's like they don't even know the word zombie. 

So White Fella says it's better to kill the ones who are infected before they die and turn into zombies.  And who do they know has been bitten?  Oh, hey, it's Max Headroom.  You can't kill him!  He's nice! And you're making his daughter cry. Oh, wait, yeah, he is starting to look kinda zombie-ish...

So why is it that in movies when there's a black American man married to a white woman, she's always European?  I think it's a subtle way of not offending Americans who like to think they're ok with interracial marraige but really they're not, unless it's just those Europeans doing it.  Hmph.

The couple of which I speak is about to have a baby, and we're hoping it happens before she turns into a zom.  Because she's been bitten, and so he's hiding her.  And has her tied up! while she's in labor! He's telling her not to scream, to be quiet.  Oh, look out honey, them's fightin' words.  You can't say that to a woman in labor!  Even if she is part zom.

Oh, yuck.  A zom baby.  Ew.  Moving on.  Oh, look, the food court where they gather has a coffee place called Hallowed Grounds.  Rich with irony, that is.  Hey, look, a dog.  Now here's a character I can care about! 

La la it's kind of boring after this.  The ending is rather boring.  But you know the scariest thing about this movie?  These zoms can run!  Fast!  The old time zoms could only stumble around slowly, which makes more sense, since they are just reanimated blobs without any muscle memory, right?  I mean, that's my zombie logic.

Well, all is well at the end, sort of.  The dog survived.  And Ving Rhames' character.  That's all that's really important.  Yawn.  Time to hit the lights. 

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